Marathon: Top 10 reasons Hurricane Irma was awesome!

8 things to do before the tourists come back - A close up of text on a black background - Sketch

10) Sunset Grille cleaned their pool.

9) American Red Cross gift cards accepted at the Brass Monkey and Overseas Lounge.

8) No lines at Sweet Savannah’s.

7) Those pesky mangroves no longer block your view.

6) MREs make excellent school lunches.

5) No one noticed how horrible the Gators or Seminoles are this year. Go ‘Canes!

4) New carpet for Key Colony Inn.

3) Bill Kelly can now get $3,000 a month for his illegal downstairs enclosure.

2) Another excuse to complain about the Marathon Manor property.

1) KCB didn’t deserve Sparky’s Landing.

(P.S. This is satire. Hurricane Irma sucked.)

Jason Koler, born in Florida and raised in Ohio, is the “better looking and way smarter” Keys Weekly publisher. When not chasing his children or rubbing his wife’s feet, he enjoys folding laundry and performing experimental live publishing.