Which of the following paragraphs is true?
1) The Internet. The world’s largest and most comprehensive store of information. A research library at one’s immediate beck and call, awaiting only your input from computer, smartphone, or tablet device.
2) The Internet. An incredibly immense repository of human stupidity and the worst humankind has to offer… with videos and other disposable pop culture detrirtus.
Although both statements are, in fact, true, it seems the latter keeps winning out over the former. If you don’t believe me, check out these actual Dumbest Things Ever Said On The Internet – from BuzzFeed.com.
– Imagine a photo of a badminton racquet and its shadow. The racquet is a Wilson, with the Wilson W stenciled in red onto the strings. Someone actually commented on the photograph, “Where’s the W?!?!?!” after not seeing it in the shadow of the racquet strings.
– A mall shopper in this new millennium actually posted onto Facebook about being trapped on an escalator for hours because the power went out. Even though one of her friends tried to bail her out (“You mean elevator, right?”), she confirmed her own stupidity by admitting she actually could have walked down the escalator’s non-moving steps… but didn’t. And the logical follow-up to the previous post: “This elevator is so stupid it has a button for the floor I’m already on.”
– A Twitter account holder by the handle “Liquorice B—h” actually tweeted, “WTF is Obama’s last name? Does anyone know?”
– Another Facebook follower actually posted this question on a turkey-related page: “Does every religion celebrate Thanksgiving? Sorry, I’m dumb.”
– It’s amazing that some people can actually figure out how to reproduce. Like this question posted – in all seriousness – to one of those answer websites: “Can your baby get pregnant if you have sex while pregnant? Like the baby is a girl and you have sex and the sperm goes to her while in the womb…”
– It’s nice to see our next generation paying attention in science class: “Someone just tried to convince me that the sun is a star… the sun is a (expletive deleted) sun u dip(expletive deleted)!” And this: “Me and my friend are having an argument, she says it rains in Australia but it can’t can it because obviously the rain falls to the top of the world but at the bottom of the world it wouldn’t fall to earth it would fall into space.”
– And spelling class as well: “I love it when you can still smell your boyfriend’s colon on you :)” Cologne, perhaps?
– And history: “WTF!? The Olympics have been going on for 3000 years?!?! There’s only been 2012 years…”
– Another Facebook poster gives helpful advice: “Tip of the day to relieve stress: inhale then outhale.”
– A Facebook post with lots of responses – all containing the same error – expressed their gratitude for all the angles in heaven watching over them. Angles? Are they obtuse?
– There are some questions better left unasked. For those who say that there’s no such thing as a stupid question, I give you this actual Facebook post from a lovely lass named Emy: “Can Siamese twins have sex with each other?”
– Another recurring amusing Facebook incident is when people comment on posted photos. A man posted a photo of himself standing in front of one of the Great Pyramids of Giza – his friend comments. “What’s that thing behind u? Stonehenge?” A couple posing in front of the Eiffel Tower got a comment that queried,” Cool! Is that New Jersey?” And finally, a photo of a family on the Great Wall of China got this response: “Is this Michigan?”
No… it’s the Internet, stupid!