Admit it: we hate listening to our mothers, but we always do anyway. Here are some words of wisdom going into 2018 — it may sound familiar, but here is the Keys translation for the next year.
- I don’t care who started it.
Translation: What the introductory remarks at every City or County Commission meeting really mean.
- It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
Translation: Next time, evacuate; or evacuate again. Either way.
- No one said life was fair.
Translation: Buckle up, Buttercup, because we all have to pay taxes, drive on the Overseas Highway and stand behind someone ordering a latte at a Cuban coffee shop.
- Beds are for sleeping, not jumping.
Translation: The ocean is for fishing, not dumping.
- Because I said so, that’s why.
Translation: Bikes and cars have to share the road. Yes, even trikes too.
- If everyone jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?
Translation: Don’t get your local news and politics from the “guy” at the store or at work; try a media outlet.
- Do you think your socks are going to pick themselves up?
Translation: Help pick up hurricane debris; yes, do it, it won’t hurt you and will help out.
- Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.
Translation: Hello snowflakes, the Keys are like anywhere else; we got problems just like the mainland. But it’s sunny and warm, so we got that going for us.
- If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.
Translation: Do not pass on U.S.1 in no-passing zones.
- One day you’ll thank me.
Translation: One day you will have to admit living here is weird, wonderful and you wouldn’t trade it in for anywhere else.
11. Your face is going to freeze like that.
Translation: Try smiling instead of looking like you smelled something in line at Publix. Patience, my friends.
12. It’s like talking to a brick wall.
Translation: Just because our health care system is crap doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get a physical. Go on now.
- You better wipe that look off your face.
Translation: Yes, it is election year. Whatcha going to do about it?