Top 10 Ways through a football game

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“Listen ‘This is Us’ is really good show. I swear.” 

It’s that time of year again, football this, football that, all about the playoffs and Super Bowl hype. Fantasy leaguers are twitching with excitement, Publix is stocking up on watery beer and bean dip and Vegas is setting odds. For the disinterested who don’t understand 3rd down or don’t care how to pronounce Favre correctly, and might unwillingly find themselves in front of a large screen at kick off, here are some ways to get to amuse yourself during the games.

  1. Imagine Oprah as the announcer

2. Every time some says they hate Tom Brady, say “AND he’s married to Gisele” with an eye roll.

3.Watching Philly sing “I want to fly like an eagle, to the sea… Fly like an eagle, Let my spirit carry me”

4. Put quinoa and white wine out for snacks and hide the wings in the room with the cats.

5. Ask when Ronaldo will go on the field, it is football after all.

6. Wonder how many Big Macs or Taco Bell Chalupas a player can eat at once.

7. Tell everyone “Heidi” will be coming on after the game (1968 if you were wondering).

8. Talk about how Eric Taylor is your favorite coach and see if anyone notices.  —hint: our favorite Rayburn.

9. Pronounce all player and coach names with French accent, for example  LE’VEon

10. Wear a #metoo shirt and take a knee while singing “Hollaback Girl”

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