Truman Waterfront 2.0 (M-I-C-Key West)

A close up of text on a black background - Water resources
Conceptual plans courtesy: Brock & Cheeta Associates

Historic Waterfront likely to become Mini-Disney 

Conceptual plans courtesy: Brock & Cheeta Associates

 

A Weekly Staff Report

 

Since the 50’s, Key West city officials have shuffled through numerous sets of plans and debated long into the night at places like the Gran Vin mulling the purpose of the 24 acres of concrete waterfront property known as the Truman Waterfront.

Early last week, during his “State of the City” speech to the Key West Chamber of Commerce, Mayor Craig Cates said, “This is a very exciting time for Key West. The city commission has decided to take over running the development project, and we’ll be leasing the marina to a private group.”

The “private” group is a publicly traded company known globally as The Walt Disney Company (DIS). In classified documents uncovered by roving Weekly reporters sifting through the Cates recycle bin, memos from Cates and Disney CEO Robert Iger outline a plan to develop a Magic Kingdom in Key West.

“We have been trying to break into Key West since the 30s,” said Disney Chairman of Parks and Rec Thomas “Grumpy” Shaggnety.

“Back in the 50s, Mr. (Walt) Disney spent many weeks entertaining former Key West Mayors C.B. Harvey and Louis Eisner in lavish trips to Cuba.

He said the last time Disney was close to slapping the trademark ears on a rooster occurred shortly after Key West succeed from union.

“Wardlow was hip to our plans,” said Skaggnety. “So was that crazy-ass, waterskiing architect, but when Tom Sawyer got into office our plans for Disney Key West were lost in a fantasia of land development regulations, height restrictions and copy right infringement. The current economic climate was exactly what we were waiting for.”

Plans for the southernmost theme-park include scaled down versions of the popular Disney attractions like Space Mountain, Tom Sawyer’s Island, and a variation of the County Bear Jamboree featuring endangered Keys animals like Key Deer, Sea Turtles, Wood Rats, and snails.

A conceptual drawing to construction an Epcot-inspired theme park on Wisteria Key should be released in a couple weeks.

Other features include 5 acres of parking and a elevated, high speed monorail system that will whisk visitors to the theme park from anywhere within the city in under 5 minutes.

 

For more information, please visits: www.disney.com/keywest.

Jason Koler, born in Florida and raised in Ohio, is the “better looking and way smarter” Keys Weekly publisher. When not chasing his children or rubbing his wife’s feet, he enjoys folding laundry and performing experimental live publishing.