After getting the word from Monroe County and municipal officials that visitors can return to the Florida Keys Oct. 1 following initial recovery from Hurricane Irma, the Monroe County Tourist Development Council has begun awareness and marketing efforts. The Weekly is chiming in with some important points for locals to digest before this happens.

1. Take down business signs that read, “looters will be shot on sight.”

2. Put on pants.

3. Turn off the car’s flashing hazard lights and stop pretending that you are some type of important official/first responder. Alternatively, find your car. (Hint: it’s probably where you parked it on high ground before the storm.)

4. Return ALL food, supplies and propane tanks that you borrowed from your evacuee neighbor.

5. Grab a bite to eat or a quick drink from your favorite spot without waiting in line.

6. Take one of those loose kayaks for a paddle and then put that back where you found it, or so help me.

7. Crack a cold one with “the boys” and hear all the hurricane stories again — including the one about the guy who sneaked back in to the Keys on a Porta-Potty truck. True story, bro.

8. Hug a cop, firefighter, or utility worker.

—Weekly Staff

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