Top 10 “would-be” Autobiographies from 2018

Other than socks, autobiographies are the unprecedented champions of thoughtless gifts over the holiday season. Nothing says “I didn’t really have time to shop for you” more...

Top 15 Gifts Not to Buy Your Boss this Holiday Season

The holidays offer enough stress without trying to figure out the perfect gift for your boss. And while we at the Keys Weekly cannot tell you what...

Top Ten Things NOT to Bring to Thanksgiving Dinner

Ah, the holidays … the most wonderful time of year, and the most awkward time of the year. Looking back on dysfunctional Thanksgivings of the past, we...

Survival Tips for the Keys Zombie Apocalypse

If you must kill a zombie, kill it with kindness. The irony will make it easier for everyone. Sexy zombies drink free! Learn the difference between a...

We Finally Discovered Why Comcast Goes Out in the Key

1. The outage strangely occurred just after you received a text alert that read “THIS IS A TEST of the national Wireless Emergency Alert System. No action...

Top 10 things from your past that could be used against you

According to the national media, Brett Kavanaugh’s supreme court nomination is in “Big Trouble” — capital B, capital T. Allegations surfaced recently that he sexually assaulted a...

Top ways to sniff out a dissenter in your office

The anonymous New York Times op-ed that revealed dissention at the top level of the White House administration inspired the following: Your team-building exercises include a car...

TOP things the ‘Hunger Games’ and Key West have in common

Admit it, you’ve watched or read “The Hunger Games.” And if you live in Key West, at some point you’ve taken a step back to acknowledge the...

Top 10 things NOT to do at the polls

Reveal the “Danny Kohlage” tattoo which is scrawled across your shoulders in gangster letters. Or John Bartus. Or Deb Gillis.   Ask the poll workers, “Who's winning?”   ...