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The People of Porch… and The Other Side too

May 21, 2015

Key West is divided by day and night. By day, real estate agents, attorneys, fishermen and service reps turn the financial wheel of the small island. But for a community that is grossly dependent on the sustenance of hospitality, the many faces of Key West nightlife dwell in a hierarchy all their own. Within the fraternal order of nocturnal faces, there are cultures and subcultures for those who operate “in the biz” in Key West. Yet at the helm of this hard-won society, one group seems to have been crowned king.

By now, most everyone in Key West instinctively recognizes that locals gather at one of Chris Shultz’s two bars. First, there is the Porch — a craft beer mecca that leans hipster; while The Other Side offers the blind tiger vibe of craft cocktails and master mixologists. But the recipe for Shultz’s success is hidden well beneath the identities of his establishments. For Shultz, it his loyal family of staffers that breathe life into the eccentric identity of his brand. Self-proclaimed as nerds, hipsters and warriors of counter culture, Shultz’s army boast some of the most recognizable and influential players in Key West. Somewhere, Hunter S. Thompson is smiling down, as the new face of Key West is scaring the sh@! out of the establishment.

Chris Shultz has been described as many things. From Key West business mogul to fun loving nerd, he is a paradoxical giant. In the words of those who know him best, the people of the Porch and the Other Side describe their ironic leader:

Seriously nerdy friend
Focused
Friend and co-conspirator in shenanigans and silliness.
A quirky, motivated madman.
A charismatic man about town
Friend to the roosters
Best friend
Mild mannered, man about town
Chris Shultz…Gangsta
the silliest man I’ve ever met and one of the smartest.

Porch / Other Side questionnaire:

hobbies
porch or the other side..for how long? Title?
signature cocktail-
signature smart ass remark-
pet peeve ( and/or best or worst way to order a drink). People who don’t know how to use their eyes and order liquor at my bar.
what famous person best embodies the porch and/or the other side? Why?
Finish this statement. I once got drunk at the porch and woke up…
what habit do you regularly exercise to impede or expedite global warming?
if you could murder anyone, dead or alive, who would it be and why?

Grubby Grohol, 42, Altoona, PA

Hide & Seek / Golf
Porch since week 1
Jameson
Jameson??
Uhmmmm….
Bummble, ‘cause he’s the first and last one you see.’
…at the Porch
Recycle
Haven’t met that guy yet…yet

Bradley Lyle Garrison, 40, The Great Nation of Texas

Diving and Traveling
Porch. Off and on for a bit. Title/ Barkeep
Jamo
I have never once been accused of being a smart ass
Mexicans
Porch…Hunter S. Thompson and Pee Wee Herman’s love child
At the Porch
I try to run over as many chickens as possible
Steven Hawkings…It’s time

Nikki Miklos, 37, Stratford, CT

Fishing, Cooking, Paddle boarding
The Porch, 2’ish years now, Bartender
I enjoy popping cans of Raddler
I like to think my smile is as smart as it gets
Best way to order a drink at The Porch is to read the menus and decide what you would like or at least like to try before you start raising your hand for immediate assistance
The obvious person that best embodies The Porch and The Other Side would be Dr. Joseph Yates Porter as he was born and had died in the mansion and is said to still reside there
in the booth wondering how long I was out
I like to ride my bike to cut down on the years before I have to swim to work due to the warming of our globe
I really enjoy murder of iguanas and try to partake in this regularly as they are delicious to eat (so I hear) and won’t stop eating everything I keep planting

Landon Bradbary, yup. I have an age, Atlanta, but I lie and say Nyc

1. Hobbies playwright, actor and occasional rabble rouser

2. I’ve been at the porch since the beginning. I’m a bartender.

3. It’s beer. I pour it with style though.

4. Never. I am a calm and patient bartender.

5. ( and/or best or worst way to order a drink). Do not snap at me. Period. It makes me “not nice”

6. Probably John Belushi. A little large. A little drunk, but normally a pretty good time.

7. I once got drunk at the porch and woke up… I’m just happy that I keep waking up.

8. Consuming the CO2 from cold beer into my body to keep it from entering the atmosphere

9. Why do you ask? Who did you talk to? What have you seen? Come talk to me in my van…..

Tim Rabior, 27, St. Louis, MO

Spirits/cocktail research, guitars, guns,
The Other Side, 10 Months Bar Manager
Not Coming Home: Absinthe, St. Germain, Dolin Blanc, Orange Flower Water
“You have the palate of a dog” Stolen from Elad Zvi
Who taught these people to order the mixer first? I’m sorry, I don’t have cranberry vodka. Oh, you wanted a vodka and cranberry? There ya go.
I would like to think Hunter S. Thompson would drink at the porch/other side. It gets pretty weird sometimes
At the porch…
I leave my A/C running 24/7
Woodrow Wilson, before he signed the Federal Reserve Act.

Travis Doll, 30, Nashville, TN

Riding my motorcycles, health and fitness, Muay Thai Kickboxing, music and movie fiend.
As a Chris Shultz/Keith St Peter minion, I tend to their business interests on this property. Porch General Manager. A year and seven months.
Beer in a glass!
“Liquor is across the hall, for the third time!”
People who don’t know how to use their eyes and order liquor at my bar. (“Wow you have a lot of beer. What will I like? What’s good?”)
Dr Joseph Yates Porter/Chris Shultz. They may be the same person, I’ve never seen them in the same room.
I once got drunk at the porch and woke up… wondering if I paid my tab at my only place of employment.
I recycle, I ride my bicycle to work, but I also ride my motorcycles rather speedily. It’s a wash.
All animal abusers/big game killers, pedophiles, rapists, and politicians.

Abby Key West Rooster, 34, Key West

Bocce, Victorian Poetry and kick-ass anime.
I was here when Chris Shultz quit his job and moved to Key West.
“Cock”tail. That’s funny.
Birds of a feather…flock you!
Chicken Fingers, Chicken Dancing and Chicken fighting. Not cool.
The San Diego Chicken. Very progressive.
In bed with Grubby .
Dude, I poop in the grass. If that’s not organic then what is?
Those two dudes from the Sonic commercials.

Keith St Peter, 38, Originally from Richmond VT, lived in KW for 16yrs…so probably here.

1. Cycling, tennis and general goofing about.

2. Both…co-owner/creator

3. to drink?…a negroni

4. “use your words”

5. cruelty or selfishness

6. Hunter S Thompson…excitement and genius…both driven by a touch of madness

7. …

8.We recycle probably more then any other bar i know

9. murder is never correct

Mark C. Straiton (aka Cowboy Mark), 38, Bethel, CT

Running, Bocce, Nerding out about cocktails
The Other Side, since day 1
The Mezcal Old Fashion
“what a bunch of ding dongs”
People that snap at the bartender
Orson Wells
My face in a hotdog bun
We repurpose liquor bottles
The dead don’t tip

Robyn Whitehead, 30ish, Tucson, AZ

Singing with Parachute Adams, The Fabulous Spectrelles, and various other musical genius’ in town. Also, makeup artist for Marie-Pierre Studio and the occasional zombie. I guess those are actually jobs, but if I didn’t get paid to do those things, they would be hobbies.
The Other Side since November 2014
Cocktail: Pale Green Eyes. It’s made with Snow Pea infused Gin (Lillet, Cocchi Americano, lemon juice and simple syrup) I named it after my Mum.
“Don’t let anyone with bad eyebrows tell you s@%t about life”
“Gimmie a..” Also, iguanas.
Bill Murray, I’m pretty sure I don’t need to explain why.
Fortunately,to date, I’ve managed to avoid that!
On Thursdays, I do use an awful lot of Aqua Net, but it’s the only thing that really holds the beehive!! I hope I offset that by riding my bike to work.
His name begins with an “L” and ends with an “N.” He works across the hall, so I’d really prefer not to give any more details at this time.

Stephanie Pino, 27, Miami, Fl.