Top 10 Reasons to Leave the Islands on Vacation

Top 10 Reasons to Leave the Islands on Vacation - A view of the side of a mountain road - Los Angeles

10. Sam Williams is attending a time-management seminar in Vegas. We might as well go, too.

9. We can evacuate early and stay ahead of the traffic. (Oh lawd, she/he coming!)

8. Your doctor recommended a “little getaway” because you keep wandering around outside and muttering under your breath: “Those f@3ing iguanas!”

7. Want to binge watch all eight seasons of “Game of Thrones” uninterrupted, and skip season 44 of “Mini Lobster.”

6. Your boss has unreasonable standards: attendance, punctuality, production and sobriety. 

5. FWC and FDOT staffers are far too uncooperative about bungee-jumping from the hump of Seven Mile Bridge.

4. Your liver needs a break.

3. Oh, come on. What’s more fun than locking yourself in a car for 25 hours and 12 minutes with two children under the age of 8?

2. Vacation will broaden our experience with the cuisine, culture, exploits of Florida Man, and flesh-eating bacteria in other parts of the state.

1.Turns out Bernie got senior coupons for Seminole Hard Rock Casino, so we gotta keep him in the car for the weekend.