As the Florida Keys and other gulf regions of Florida await the 13 million tons of seaweed (or sargassum — see page 4) to wash ashore, many residents have a mixed range of expectations and emotions.
Will the nutrient-rich blob offer fishermen a bountiful habitat for fish and sea life? Or will it be detrimental to our waters, spurring dangerous toxins and messy shorelines?
Regardless, much of Florida is monitoring the sargassum’s arrival in similar fashion to a hurricane track, which got us thinking, why does the seaweed blob not have an official name? Always here to help, here are our…
Top 10 Names & Logos For the Sargassum Blob
10. Summer’s Ectoplasm Spasm
9. The Green Floater
8. The Beach Sweeper
7. The Tourism Eliminator
6. The Dank Weed
5. The Florida Keys: Come as you are; leave covered in shit.
4. The Wet Blanket
3. Capt. DeSantis’ Seaweed Salad
2. Sargassapalooza
1.Seaweed Jam 2023
