Dress up and race for slowest time

By Moomoo McCow

Feel like running across a bridge in the Florida Keys without waking up early or breaking a sweat? Join the second annual Cow Key Channel Bridge Run on Saturday, April 18. It is the only Zero K Bridge Run ever. Dress up or don’t. This is one of the shortest bridges in the Keys and there is a bar close to the finish line.  The event is free, but T-shirts and number bibs are available for purchase to support the Monroe County Sheriff’s Animal Farm. The theme this year is cows in space.

“It is going to be the same fun as last year but more of everything. Free beer, entertainment, giveaways and fun for kids,” said run co-creator Marky Pierson.

The bridge is about 300 feet long. Runners will gather near the Overseas Heritage Trail on the Key West side and finish on the Stock Island side. A water station will be located mid-bridge, and volunteers and signs will let participants know that cars drive on roads and that if they walk in front of moving cars it will hurt really bad. (Seriously, participants must stay on the trail or face a Robert The Doll-type curse.)

The Cow Key Channel Bridge Run started as a joke amongst friends after a more athletic one convinced the less athletic ones to partake in a 5K run after a night of drinking. They nearly died. A few weeks later the friend suggested they try the 7 Mile Bridge run and the other said the only bridge he would ever run across would be the Cow Key Channel. They joked about the idea for years, and finally the inaugural event took place in 2014.

People clock their own time, run or moonwalk at their own pace, dress how they want. Some are doing relay teams. Nearby will be a space crash landing for photo opportunities. There are trophies for fastest and slowest, and a bar at the end, though this is not being billed as a drinking event.

“My favorite award is the Acowdemy Award, the best theatrical performance on the bridge,” said event co-creator David Sloan. “After that it is the Mad Cow Award which goes to a random crazy person.”

An award ceremony is planned at Hurricane Hole (Shhh! Hurricane Hole doesn’t know that … yet).

Grand Moobahs from both Stock Island and Key West will open race to show solidarity between the two neighboring islands. Sponsorship opportunities are available. To become a sponsor, email “Mr. Cow” at [email protected].

The Florida Keys Healthy Start Coalition (www.keyshealthystart.org/) and Healthy Start are going to have a “Kid Zone” at Hurricane Hole during the Cow Key Bridge Run on April 18.

Healthy Start is going to have a “Kids Zone” with a bounce house, face painter and one other small activity (ring toss, grab plastic ducks from a kiddie pool or something easy but fun). They will have a table with our info and also raffling a single gift basket. We will sell wristbands or parents can buy individual tickets for each activity where the proceeds will benefit Healthy Start.

For times, “Kids Zone” opens from 11 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. so parents can bring their kids over before or after the actual ‘race.’

The event hosts are Pierson of Wonderdog Productions and Zombie Bike Ride; Sloan of Key Lime Festival and Sloan’s Ghost Hunt; and Liz Love of Ultimate Racing. Visit the facebook event page for regular updates.


  • Saturday, April 11 Registered Runners Shirt & Bib Pick Up Party 12-3 p.m., Viva Zapata, 903 Duval Street Be the first kid on your block to show off the 2015 Cow Key Channel Bridge Run shirt and catch a buzz in the process. Bloody Moo-ry specials and a chance to share your bridge run strategy live on 104.1FM. • Friday, April 17 Registered Runners Shirt & Bib Pick Up Party 3-6 p.m., Green Parrot Bar, 501 Whitehead Pick up your number bibs and T-shirts at The Green Parrot so you can sleep in before the run. Your drinks may be tax deductible.
  • Saturday, April 18, 2015​ Tune into 104.1 The X for live event coverage. Parking is available from our fiends at The Marriott Beachside Resort.
  • 10-11:30 a.m.:  Costumed Cow Corral (Key West side of bridge) Open for shirt and bib pick up, photo ops, costume judging and grazing with friends.
  • 11:45 a.m.:  Opening Ceremonies with Stock Island Boy and Cow Key Channel Girl
  • 12 p.m.:  The Ringing of the Cow Bells (race begins)

Heat 1: 1st Place Contenders (25 seconds is the record to beat)

Heat 2: Pets with Humans (or humans with pets)

Heat 3: Relay Teams

Heat 4: The Walking Cow Stampede (Main Event)

Heat 5: People that forgot to Run

  • 12:30 – 2 p.m.   Award Ceremony @ Hurricane Hole

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