In honor of Father’s Day, we asked dozens of Key West dads to share some thoughts — and some habits that have elicited eye-rolls from their adolescent offspring.
I’ve filled an entire column with reasons I rolled my eyes at my dad. He was overprotective. How dare someone spend their entire existence worrying insanely about me while actively thwarting some of my (admittedly ill-advised) plans? I passed my driver’s test, so who was HE to dictate that I still had to pass “his” exam? Was that even legal? What other teenage girl had to learn to change a tire, jump a battery and check her oil before she could hit the road? (OK, fine. They’ve all proven crucial.) And don’t get me started on the double standards that enforced my curfew and ignored my brother’s. Dad’s justification? “Boys have sex; girls have babies.”
Any argument about equality in the family was ignored. “Who told you this family is a democracy? It’s a monarchy and I am king.”
(Remember all this, Mom? I told you we should have had him tested decades ago.)
That said, unlike too many other dads, mine was always there. Always. (Often maddeningly so.) Still is.
As I’ve advised my guy friends for years when they whined about dating a “nutjob,” “Find a girl who has a good relationship with her dad. Trust me.”
Happy Father’s Day, Dad. Thanks for being crazy — about me.
Michael Cunningham
What do you do that makes your kids roll their eyes? My kids roll their eyes at me when I try to be relevant to their age group when talking to their friends. Clearly my GenX time period and coolness does not translate with them. Or so they think!
What lesson do you hope your kids learn from you? My kids played high level AAA and junior hockey so I have always tried to teach them hard work, effort and a great attitude will be critical in their successes now and in the future. So far it has paid off for them.
What’s your most-used phrase? Other than “Don’t be a PIA” or “Ask your Mom,” my most-used phrase has probably been, “It’s better to do something than nothing,” meaning make a full effort to do your best or the right thing when faced with decisions.
Billy Davis
“Keep in mind, I’ll be 78 in August, so it’s been awhile since I was in the Daddy role. But here’s what I remember: I have three daughters, ages 57, 52 and 40.
What do you do that makes your kids roll their eyes? None of them were really eye rollers.
What lesson do you hope your kids learn from you? The most important lesson I hope I’ve demonstrated for them is a high work ethic. That I’m not a quitter. And at this point in their lives, they all seem to have inherited that quality.
What’s your most-used phrase? There were times when they were growing up when they would do something they knew was off limits for the 100th time. I’d say, “I can’t talk about this now.” Decades later, when my grandson was about 12, my middle daughter was called to his school because my grandson was in trouble. As my grandson was trying to explain his side of the story, she told me she heard herself saying, “I can’t talk about this now.”
Bill Lay
My life changed on Feb. 23, 2001 — for the better. At roughly 8 p.m. that day, my mindset went into DAD MODE, when I saw the joy of my life come into the world. Fast forward to this past Jan. 10, when I gave my little girl away to a great young man, Josh Dais. I had a front row seat to see her grow up and now I have 50-yard-line seats to watch Vianca and Josh begin their own journey. They are ready. You get one ticket to this show, kids. Take advantage of it and live this thing we call LIFE.”
The Key West restaurateur asked his daughter, Vianca, to answer the questions below on his behalf:
What do you do that makes your kids roll their eyes? My dad telling the story of how he once gave me a credit card that I could charge things on during a cruise. I bought out a video arcade, and his credit card statement was several inches thick, filled with video arcade charges.
What’s the most important lesson you hope your children learn from you? Take the risks, make mistakes, travel the world. You get one life and live it to the fullest.
What’s been your most-used phrase with your kids? GET EXCITED. BABY! LETS GO!
Derek Epperly
What do you do that makes your kids roll their eyes? Wearing my readers over my sunglasses.
What lesson do you hope your kids learn from you? Live below your means.
What’s your most-used phrase? Please turn it down!
Bascom Grooms
What do you do that makes your kids roll their eyes?
“Ask me the same question over and over again when I’ve already told you the answer.”
“Striking up a conversation with everyone in public.”
“Trying to use Gen Z slang.”
“Always asking us to turn off the lights and turn up the thermostat!”
“Always saying every penny counts!”
“Your corny dad jokes.”
What’s the most important lesson you hope your kids learn from you? Doing the right thing even when no one is looking
What’s been your most-used phrase with your kids? Life is a marathon not a sprint. Just keep doing what you’re doing and working hard and good things will come.
Andy Ferguson
What do you do that makes your kids roll their eyes? Tell him to ask his mom.
What lesson do you hope your kids learn from you? Be respectful, work hard!
What’s your most-used phrase? Be safe, and make good choices!
Clinton Curry
What do you do that makes your kids roll their eyes? My daughter rolls her eyes when I state the obvious. (Apparently, that is not needed.)
What’s the most important lesson you hope your children learn from you? Treat people well and provide service for others.
What’s been your most-used phrase with your kids? “It’s better to have and not need, than to need and not have.”
Jim McCarthy
What’s the funniest thing your child has ever said or done? He called me “Honey” in public and then told me to hurry up because I was walking too slowly.
What’s one thing you swore you’d never do as a parent that you now do all the time? Negotiate with a tiny terrorist over how many dinosaur nuggets count as dinner.
What is the most important lesson you hope your children learn from you? Confidence. The kind Lucas has when he’s completely wrong but explains it like a TED Talk.
Al Nelson
What do you do that makes your kids roll their eyes? My use of current slang results in instantaneous disapproval.
What’s the most important lesson you hope your children learn from you? How to find and connect with a God of their understanding.
What’s been your most-used phrase with your kids? More will be revealed.
Roderick Gill
What do you do that makes your kids roll their eyes? OMG, I will give you two answers: 1.) The minute that I would take out my flip phone, as I was one of the last to migrate to a smartphone. 2.) While eating breakfast, I was like, “Do you think you could use a fork when eating your bacon?” All three immediately exclaimed, “REALLY, DAD.”
What’s the most important lesson you hope your children learned from you? Not to get into the restaurant business. It worked.
What’s been your most-used phrase with your kids? “Chase your dreams and do what you love.” I was a broken record with them on that one, as the advice was crucial to me.
Jonathan Gueverra
What do you do that makes your kids roll their eyes? As my children are now adults, they don’t roll their eyes. But they will say, “Daaaddy?” Or one loves to say, “What the hell?!”
What’s the most important lesson you hope your children learned from you? Life is a journey, not a destination.
What’s your most-used phrase with your kids? There is a reason God gave children to parents and not the other way around.
Corey Malcom
What do you do that makes your kids roll their eyes? I like to tell deadpan jokes that are often based around obscure subjects. (In my defense, they are darned funny if you get them.)
What’s the most important lesson you hope your children learn from you? To be always curious about the world and to explore to find the answers.
What’s been your most-used phrase with your kids? I don’t really have a go-to phrase, but my son who just graduated from college says I’ve been asking, “Did you get a job yet?” an awful lot lately.
Abe Conn
What do you do that makes your kids roll their eyes? Tell Dad jokes!
What’s the most important lesson you hope your children learn from you? Be kind, and treat people like you want to be treated.
What’s been your most-used phrase with your kids? “Mr. Blutarsky, fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.”
Mike Marrero
What do you do that makes your kids roll their eyes? Relentlessly tease them. It’s the Conch way.
What’s the most important lesson you hope your children learn from you? Try not to choose violence first thing in the morning.
What’s been your most-used phrase with your kids? Chew with your MOUTH CLOSED!
Kashawn Butler
What is your favorite memory of being a dad? Each time the boys were fully potty trained. No more diapers!
What is the most important lesson you hope your children learn from you? Manners and respect will help you navigate this world a lot easier.
What’s the funniest thing your child has ever said or done? Three-year-old: “Daddy, daddy, you talking too much right now. I can’t hear my show.”
John Picco
What do you do that makes your kids roll their eyes? I have a habit of turning just about everything into a life lesson. In fact, I’m currently going over my personal list of the top 30 things my son absolutely must know before he heads off to UF in a couple weeks. My kids don’t always appreciate that even a simple car ride can unexpectedly turn into a TED Talk.
What’s the most important lesson you hope your children learn from you? Integrity is everything. There will be times in life when the easy choice and the right choice are not the same. Have the courage to choose what’s right, even when no one is looking.
What’s been your most-used phrase with your kids? “You’re responsible for your own happiness.” I’ve always wanted my children to understand that while we can’t control every circumstance in life, we can control how we respond to it.
Joe Mitchell
What do you do that makes your kids roll their eyes? My dancing makes him deeply uncomfortable.
What’s the most important lesson you hope your children learn from you? Save and travel!
What’s been your most-used phrase with your kids? Be the best Jack you can be.
Larry Blackburn
What do you do that makes your kids roll their eyes? There was no shortage of eye rolls when Dad would drop them off and pick them up at a concert, but they never seemed to have a problem with the backstage access Dad always got for them. (They never got used to Dad’s ability to swing dance either.)
What one lesson do you hope your kids learn from you? Be kind. Be generous. Give more than you receive. Have thick skin, but don’t take crap from anyone.
What was your most-used phrase with your kids? “Sounded like a freight train!!!” (You had to be there.)
Jorge Quintana
What do you do that makes your kids roll their eyes? I say, “time for bed,” and my kids hear, “Would anyone like a snack?”
What’s the most important lesson you hope your children learn from you? I hope they learn that you don’t have to have everything figured out to keep moving forward. You just show up, work hard and take care of your people.
What’s been your most-used phrase with your kids? I have a 5- and a 2-year-old, so it’s, “Sit down and finish your food, please.”
