If the Best of Marathon proves one thing each year, it’s that we’re beyond fortunate to live in one of the best small towns in the country.
If there’s something else it proves … it’s that Marathon gives us endless opportunities for jokes.
Don’t worry – we didn’t forget one of our annual traditions at this year’s awards ceremony. This year, through extensive research (ChatGPT), wide-ranging sources (whoever we felt like calling) and artistic expertise (our brains after several beverages), we present our 2026…
TOP 10 SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE FROM MARATHON
10) You consider “I’ve lived here 20 years” a valid credential in engineering, law, marine biology, municipal finance and driving while hammered drunk.
9) You’re not sure who the city manager is, but you’re pretty sure he/she/they should be fired.
8) You believe Facebook comments, local rumors and ChatGPT screenshots count as “evidence.”
7) You think every vacant lot in town should stay vacant – unless you own or have a contract to sell one.
6) You complain that nobody wants to work while offering $15 an hour in a town where a shed rents for $2,400.
5) There’s an inverse relationship between your manhood and the lift kit on your truck.
4) You just realized who the city manager is and you are certain he should be fired.
3) You’ve demanded someone resign from a position whose responsibilities you cannot describe.
2) You support the abolition of property taxes because, let’s face it, fewer cops and less government regulation is better for your business.
- You think Marathon has been ruined by everyone who moved here after you did.
