As of Wednesday morning, election results continue to be tallied and control of the U.S. House hangs in the balance. However, one thing from Tuesday’s elections is certain: pollsters had no idea what issues and items were motivating Americans to vote for particular candidates. And this isn’t the first time they completely missed the mark. So while this increasing trend of inaccurate polling is troubling, we at the Keys Weekly have some ideas about why they got it so wrong. Here are our…
TOP 10 REASONS POLLSTERS COMPLETELY WHIFFED ON THE 2022 NOVEMBER ELECTIONS
10. Maybe because media sites that consistently cover what Kanye West (or Ye) has to say shouldn’t be trusted with predicting the essential elements of American democracy.
9. Maybe people cared more about overturning a 40-plus-year abortion right than some pollsters figured?
8. Perhaps sitting outside of a Walmart in Arizona and asking the first five people you see about abortion and gas prices isn’t the best sample to encompass all Americans.
7. Because people actually did care more about getting something done in D.C. rather than the peacocking between left and right that we are constantly subjected to.
6. The pollsters did have it right, but these elections were rigged. We are all just sheep.
5. Unbeknownst to pollsters, the nation wants to live in 2022, not 1952.
4. Pollsters placed too much faith in armed dipshits sitting outside voting areas. Evidently, Elmer and Daryl, who purchased all of their tactical gear at the local Army surplus store, weren’t so intimidating after all.
3. Because a 4-year-old guessing how many jellybeans are in a jar is more accurate than the last two decades of political polling.
2. Because all of the polling companies are suspiciously owned by a corporation in Russia called Vladdy Daddy’s Actuarial Emporium.
1. They used the same people who forecast hurricane models to predict election winners.
