As many know, the annual Bubbas: Key West People’s Choice Awards show will not take place this year out of respect for social distancing guidelines.
Thus, 2020 marks the first time our awards show will not kick off with our infamous Top 10 bit entitled, “You Might Be a Bubba If….”
Instead, to celebrate this year’’s virtual Bubbas voting, we took a look back at some of our favorite (and borderline not-fit-for-print) anecdotes that kicked off our annual awards show, dating back to the very first evening in 2014.
We want to thank all of the true locals (or Bubbas) who have helped us compile these jokes over the years — and to our buddies and supporters who shamelessly allowed us to add you into some of the jokes.
Most of all, we want to thank the entire Key West community for all the votes, jokes and donations over the years — and we look forward to many more memorable evenings.
Here are some of our favorites from the past seven years.
You Might Be a Bubba…
1. If you named your boat “cuzzie,” your kid “Bubba,” and your testes “Oropeza & Parks (2015)
2. If you vote once in the primary… and twice in the general. (2015)
3. If you ever dropped anchor at Shanna Key. (2017)
4. If you’re Cuban and don’t speak a lick of Spanish. (2016)
5. If you manscape and filet your fish with the same knife. (2017).
6. If you ever brought a Yeti to church. (2016)
7. If you spend more time with your bocce team than you do your kids. (2017).
8. If you’ve ever asked your weed dealer for a 1099. (2016)
9. If, in keeping with the times, the Breathalyzer you use to start your car features a biodegradable straw. (2018)
10. If you have at least 700 pounds of free weights in your driveway. (2018)
11. If you’re a 10th generation fishermen whose boat hasn’t left the driveway in eight years because you’re “waiting on a part.” (2018)
12. If you made your money “the hard way”— with Gary Centonze back in the ‘80s. (2019)
13. If you still refer to Craig Cates as mayor—when talking to Teri Johnston. (2019)
14. You’ve brought a different wife to all 6 Bubbas events. (2019)
15. You voted for Keys Energy as “Best Family Owned Business.” (2019)