In a series of headlines that would be a lot funnier if they weren’t so crazy, Florida Keys coral biologist Kevin Macaulay this week found himself defending online allegations that an Alaskan space lab “activated” fixtures in an Upper Keys coral nursery to control the weather.
“This certainly falls into the ever-growing category of things I never thought I’d have to talk about as a marine biologist,” Macaulay told WLRN South Florida in an interview. At press time, the video espousing the ludicrous notion had been viewed 1.7 million times on X.
In honor of our favorite new government conspiracy theory, here are our…
TOP 10 THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW WERE CONTROLLED BY THE GOVERNMENT
10. The number of licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
9. Furbies.
8. Fred the Tree.
7. Killer whales. All of them.
6. Birds (aka government drones).
5. Rainbows. Especially double rainbows.
4. The North Pole.
3. The National Football League
2. Access to your “secret” fishing spot.
1.A delicate balance between liberal and conservative ideologies that shapes the everyday lives of Americans.
