Top 10 Hawaii Missile Alert Excuses


When an employee of the state of Hawaii “pushed the wrong button” and issued a message about an imminent missile threat, the population panicked. When, 38 minutes later, it was revealed to be a ginormous mistake, joke tellers popped their knuckles and cracked open a Red Bull and got to work. Here’s the Keys Weekly’s efforts …

  1. “It was a joke on my buddy Larry. I didn’t mean to click ‘send all.’”
  2. I keep the nuke alert app between my Twitter and Spotify widgets.
  3. Some drunken dares seem funnier at 3 a.m.
  4. I keep hitting the mute, hold call and “holy shit, there’s a nuke coming” buttons with my face.
  5. It seemed much more believable than calling in sick.
  6. You can thank me for our new motto: “Hawaii: Last state in –first state out.”
  7. Maybe my minimum wage job shouldn’t grant me “Nuke Alert” privileges on my phone.
  8. I was just trying to boost our Facebook likes.
  9. So this is what happens when you click on ads while surfing porn.
  10. I was trying to impress Carla in Accounting.

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