Just 18 months ago, LIV Golf, the Saudi-backed professional golf league, formed and lured some of the sport’s top players away from the PGA, paying hundreds of millions in contracts for individual players. Since then, a contentious battle has ensued between the PGA and LIV players. Aside from several lawsuits, PGA players and leadership have been quick to point out everything from the Saudi monarch’s human rights records to their alleged involvement with the 9/11 attacks (investigations and an ongoing court case continue to this day). So when the PGA and LIV announced a merger this past Tuesday, the world, along with many PGA golfers, were stunned to hear that shareholders had succumbed to the mighty dollar (or the Saudi Riyal) and traded away one of Europe’s and America’s most traditional sports for $6 billion Saudi “public investment fund” made of oil money. Always here to help, we offer our… 

Top 10 most interesting things about the PGA & LIV (Saudi) Golf merger  

10. Instead of golf carts, participants can now opt for a yellow or orange Lamborghini to traverse the 18 holes. (We know, pro golfers walk the course, but the idea of Rory Mcllroy getting out of a Lambo to hit his 8-iron is priceless.) 

9. All tournaments are sponsored by the oil conglomerate Saudi Aramco. And if you don’t like it, they’ll chop off your putting hand. 

8. The Masters Tournament winnings will now be $2.3 billion — and a Barbary falcon to everyone else who makes the cut.  

7. Phil Mickelson will now only be referred to as Prince Lefty.  

6.  We’ll boycott Target and Bud Light over their inclusiveness, but celebrate a merger that includes two nations with the worst human rights records (Saudi Arabia, China’s largest global oil supplier) by handing them the longest-standing sports tradition in the free world. 

5. Now that Donald Trump will be an instrumental figure in a sports startup, we wonder if anyone recalls the fate of the New Jersey Generals? 

4. Soooo, the statute of limitations on giving a shit about 9/11 ended yesterday? 

3. In a failed attempt, LIV offered to purchase the LPGA, but only if the players agreed to denounce their ability to read, vote or voice any opinion in public. 

2. Another 600 billion reasons to move to electric cars.

1. We now know that money can buy anything. Even one’s soul. RIP PGA Golf: 1929–2023