Barstool Astrology: Are your planets aligned?

The tides of psychic intuition, acute sensitivity and passive aggressive tendencies have come ashore with Cancer season. Cancer governs the realms of domesticity and familiarity. With its ties to the eternal past and the nostalgic totems of it, its season reminds us that objects hold energy that can bolster or bind us. The tension that exists in Cancer folk and their ruling season is a pull between the steady need to be needed and the waxing and waning modalities of the human experience. 

Cancer
June 21 to July 22

On her 50th birthday, fashion icon Iman received her AARP card in the mail. “I hurled it in the trash, put on something fabulous and had a decadent meal. The thought of putting it in my wallet felt like a concession.” Should anyone threaten to define you, reject their boundary lines by being swiftly, wantonly and unapologetically yourself. 

Notable Cancer: Larry David/July 2, 1947

Leo
July 23 to Aug. 22

Chef, butter advocate and fellow Leo Julia Child advised, “You’ll never know everything about anything, especially something you love.” I encourage you to cheerfully and vigorously investigate without threat of total discovery. To know what you love and to stand in the sun of its mystery is a privilege in itself. 

Notable Leo: Isabel Allende/Aug. 2, 1942

Virgo
Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

Cancer season illuminates your 11th house of friendship, community and belonging. Self-anointed outsiders, Virgo folks tend to fend for themselves and take pride in their hard-won survival. But look to those around you for insight in how to structure your life to maximize your time and reap radical joy. It’s not enough to make it through, you must enjoy the going. 

Notable Virgo: Yvonne de Carlo/Sept. 1, 1922

Libra
Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

Controversial Romanian writer and fellow Libra Mihail Sebastian writes, “You will face yourself again in a moment of terror and will learn once again that old lesson you keep forgetting, that you can escape from anywhere, but you cannot flee your own self.” Rather than think of solitude and stillness as things to avoid, try instead to make of your own self a place that will warmly, indelibly welcome you home. 

Notable Libra: Gottfried Heinwein/Oct. 8, 1948

Scorpio
Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

Late physicist, rancher, barkeep, brewer, millionaire and Scorpio George Stranahan grew up rich and lonely and viewed science as a passage for objective understanding. May all of your observing and unraveling be done in the pursuit of absolute understanding.                                                  

Notable Scorpio: RuPaul/ Nov. 17, 1960

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

Brazilian writer and fellow archer Clarice Lispector notes, “Everything in the world began with a yes. One molecule said yes to another molecule and life was born. But before prehistory there was the prehistory of prehistory and there was the never and there was the yes.” In honor of all beginnings and as an affront to every never was, initiate your next fresh start with a bright, clear, fresh plucked from the plains of the possible, yes. 

Notable Sagittarius: Sinead O’Connor/Dec. 8, 1966

Capricorn 
Dec. 22 to Jan. 19 

Conflict creates opportunity, Capricorn. As a cardinal earth sign, difficult conversations and trying interactions may have led to severance rather than evolution in past relationships. It need not be so. With the sun moving through your seventh house of partnership, discord will at best build respect between you and your significant other and at minimum create an adversarial and intoxicating kind of sexual tension. No one loses if everyone gets laid.   

Notable Capricorn: Paul Bezos / Jan. 12, 1964

Aquarius 
Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

Trust does not come easily to you, water bearer, but current planetary placements and the lunar pull of Cancer season are conspiring to build your faith in the stranger that is yourself. Whether it’s the soft knot of intuition, a fresh ache or a corporeal craving, answer the call and heed the warning. Listen to your knowing, it will tell you no lies.

Notable Aquarius: Sam Cooke/Jan. 22, 1931

Pisces 
Feb. 19 to March 20

My new favorite Pisces said, “Benevolence comes from abundance.” Cancer season activates your fifth house of gambling, the exalted inner child and joie de vivre. It also positions you to collect all manner of abundance. Your ability to be kind and to give of yourself is in direct proportion to your ability to receive what you wholly deserve and acknowledge the riches you already possess. 

Notable Pisces: Wyatt Earp/March 19, 1848

Aries 
March 21 to April 19

Hot tip: You can’t be hateful and grateful at the same time, my fire babies. Surrender the petty tallying and grudges that have grown old. Holding on to an idea of what you have lost inhibits you from accepting what could yet be yours. Lay down your weapons of defense and leave your hands open to receive. 

Notable Aries: Angus Young/March 31, 1955

Taurus 
April 20 to May 20

Artist Keith Haring’s preferred medium was drawing in snow. The immediate erasure of the images freed him to create more authentic, spontaneous work. “When you know the work you’re creating is temporary, you realize you are reacting instead of acting. Responding instead of contriving.” In the grand scheme, all of our lives are melting snow. May the knowledge of your destined disappearance push you to respond and create without fear or hesitation. 

Notable Taurus: Luther Vandross/April 20, 1951 

Gemini
May 21 to June 20   

Lisa del Giocondo’s name is not as familiar, but her face was the model for DaVinci’s Mona Lisa. The duality of her expression and the secret behind her eyes have haunted observers for the better part of five centuries. I was thus unsurprised to learn that Giocondo was a Gemini. Who but your ilk could hold the pose of pain and hope in the same space? See yourself made whole in the image of this woman who was, as she appears, the totality of rich and disparate factions.

Notable Gemini: Azealia Banks/May 31, 1991

REDA WIGLE is a middle child and Taurus Fire Tiger named after a stigmatic saint. She divides her time and affections between New Orleans and Key West.