BARSTOOL ASTROLOGY: VIRGO SEASON HATH ARRIVED

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Bleach your bathtubs, my babies, Virgo season hath arrived. The modality of Virgo is advancement through ritual purification, it is decisive, exacting and at times ruthless in...

BARSTOOL ASTROLOGY: POWER & POSSIBILITIES ARE IN THE STARS

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While the first half of August has been, astrologically speaking, a trying sort of dumpster fire, the remaining weeks are bound for glory. Five celestial bodies —the...

BARSTOOL ASTROLOGY: CHIRON HAS STATIONED ITSELF RETROGRADE

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Good news: We have the lion’s share of Leo season ahead of us. Troubling update: We need the promised distraction of pageantry, Polaroid nudes and one-night stands...

BARSTOOL ASTROLOGY: LEO SEASON IS GOING TO BE BIG & BOLD

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Leo season is upon us, with an energy akin to Texas: big, brazen and boldly belt-buckled, shining relentlessly on those who have to squint and bear it. While...

BARSTOOL ASTROLOGY: EMOTIONS ARE HEIGHTENED

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We remain in the soft saltwater belly of Cancer season, and all thoughts are on feelings, what rises to the surface and what has kept us from...

Barstool Astrology: Are your planets aligned?

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The tides of psychic intuition, acute sensitivity and passive aggressive tendencies have come ashore with Cancer season. Cancer governs the realms of domesticity and familiarity. With its...

ARE YOUR PLANETS ALIGNED?

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The summer solstice arrives June 20, bringing the year’s longest day and briefest night. At high noon our shadows will appear shorter than at any other point...

BARSTOOL ASTROLOGY: WELCOME TO THE TWIN-FOR-THE-WIN SEASON OF GEMINI

Welcome to the twin-for-the-win season of Gemini. Among the most maligned and misunderstood of the zodiac signs, Gemini is ruled by Mercury, messenger demigod and planet of...

BARSTOOL ASTROLOGY: WHAT’S ON YOUR HORIZON?

The best and brightest news this week is the movement of lucky, jolly AF Jupiter into water sign Pisces where it will remain until late July. The...

Barstool Astrology: Transitioning from Aries to Taurus

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This week marks the transition from Aries to Taurus. See what you can do with this renewed, earthbound energy with the Keys Weekly’s... Aries March 21 – April 19 As...
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