FLORIDIANS DEBATE DESSERT DESIGNATION

A group of Key Westers has launched an online petition to have the Key lime pie remain as the official pie of the state of Florida and strawberry shortcake as the state’s official cake. Keys Weekly file photo

As if there weren’t enough arguments in the world today, a Florida state senator from the Plant City area wants the Florida Legislature to designate strawberry shortcake as Florida’s official dessert, potentially usurping Key lime pie, which has been the state’s official pie since 2006.

A trio of Key West residents – David Sloan, Paul Menta and Vice Mayor Sam Kaufman – have formed the Conch Republic Key Lime Pie Council and launched a hilarious, and well-researched, online petition titled, “Keep Key Lime Pie As Florida’s Dessert.

The petition suggests, “Strawberry shortcake shall be designated Florida’s official cake, and Key lime pie shall remain Florida’s official pie. Together they can share the limelight as Florida’s official desserts.

“If Senator Burgess and the residents of Plant City contest this bill, the dispute shall be settled under the official bylaws of the Conch Republic, requiring a duel at high noon between the vice mayors of Key West and Plant City, each armed with only their favorite dessert.”

The pie council members are hoping Florida Keys residents will get behind their initiative and sign the online petition that reads as follows:

WHEREAS: Senator (Danny) Burgess has filed a bill to designate Strawberry Shortcake as Florida’s Official Dessert.

WHEREAS: Key Lime Pie is a native Floridian dessert that originated in the Florida Keys, and Strawberry Shortcake is a non-native dessert that originated in Europe.

WHEREAS: Key Lime Pie was designated the Official State Pie of Florida in 2006 and has served proudly as the de facto State Dessert for 16 years, and Strawberry Shortcake has never received a state designation.

WHEREAS: Florida has prepared at least four world-record Key lime pies and served the mammoth pies in Key West, Boston, Atlanta, the Governor in Tallahassee, and Good Morning America, and Florida has prepared only one world-record Strawberry Shortcake, served only to people in Plant City.

WHEREAS: The current world record Key Lime Pie title is held by Florida. The Philippines holds the world record Strawberry Shortcake title.

WHEREAS: Key Lime Pie reminds people of sun, sand and tropical breezes, and Strawberry Shortcake reminds people of an early 1980s cartoon character owned by a Canadian corporation.

WHEREAS: Key Lime Pie is celebrated in song by Kenny Chesney with the lyric: Big white sail / Red sunset / Lobster tail and don’t forget / My, my, my – my Key Lime Pie, and Strawberry Shortcake is celebrated in song by R. Kelly with the lyrics: Band-Aids for my knees / Girl set the table / Now let me feast / Strawberry Shortcake.

WHEREAS: Key Lime Pie is ingrained in the American presidencies of Taft, Hoover, Truman, Eisenhower, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Clinton, Bush, Obama, and Trump, and Strawberry Shortcake is not.

WHEREAS: Key Lime Pie and Strawberry Shortcake are both delicious.

NOW, THEREFORE: BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF FLORIDA: STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE SHALL BE DESIGNATED FLORIDA’S OFFICIAL CAKE, AND KEY LIME PIE SHALL REMAIN FLORIDA’S OFFICIAL PIE. TOGETHER THEY CAN SHARE THE LIMELIGHT AS FLORIDA’S OFFICIAL DESSERTS.

If Senator Burgess and the residents of Plant City contest this bill, the dispute shall be settled under the official bylaws of the Conch Republic requiring a duel at high noon between the Vice Mayors of Key West and Plant City, each armed with only their favorite dessert.

Prepared by: David L. Sloan, Paul Menta and Vice Mayor Sam Kaufman, Key West, Florida.

Scan the above code with a smartphone camera to go to the change.org online petition

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Mandy Miles drops stuff, breaks things and falls down more than any adult should. An award-winning writer, reporter and columnist, she's been stringing words together in Key West since 1998. "Local news is crucial," she says. "It informs and connects a community. It prompts conversation. It gets people involved, holds people accountable. The Keys Weekly takes its responsibility seriously. Our owners are raising families in Key West & Marathon. Our writers live in the communities we cover - Key West, Marathon & the Upper Keys. We respect our readers. We question our leaders. We believe in the Florida Keys community. And we like to have a good time." Mandy's married to a saintly — and handy — fishing captain, and can't imagine living anywhere else.