As this paper hits newsstands, there are just three days left to nominate your favorite people, places and businesses for the 2025 Best of Marathon Awards. Nominations started off with a flurry and votes are coming in from all over the world. We’ve run into some … interesting … reasons that people forget to finish their ballots, so here are our…
TOP 10 REASONS YOU HAVEN’T SUBMITTED YOUR BEST OF MARATHON NOMINATIONS
• You saw right through the propaganda and realized the Best of Marathon Awards as yet another distraction from the Epstein files.
• You’re a woke snowflake who believes everyone deserves an award.
• You’re convinced the balloting server is hosted on the dark web and you don’t want to give away personal insight that could be used to steal your identity.
• You’re upset that you can’t nominate a business in Layton.
• The detention center where you currently reside doesn’t have wifi.
• Every single free moment of your day is occupied with fantasy football research.
• You misunderstood the process — for the past ten years. The top 3 nominees in each category aren’t AI generated and they don’t magically appear in the online ballot.
• You feel this is just a big popularity contest. (Which it is.)
• Lobster mini-season. And/or the fish were biting.
• You’re a veterinarian and understand there is no way in hell you are beating Dr. Dunn.
