As friends and family gather on Thanksgiving for what may not exactly resemble a Norman Rockwell scene, we offer:

Top 10 things you do not want to hear at this year’s Thanksgiving table… 

10. “Has anyone seen grandpa’s hearing aid? I’m afraid it’s in the mashed potatoes.”

9. “Let’s go Brandon.” (typically from the loudest uncle in the room).

8. “This year we decided to go vegan … hope you all enjoy the tofurkey.” 

7. “Who farted? And don’t blame the dog.”

6. “Mom, Dad, meet Skyler. I love him and I’m pregnant.”

5. “You’re supposed to completely thaw the turkey first? Who knew?”

4. “I see the kids are eating the special brownies.” (These brownies are usually provided by the quietest uncle in the room). 

3. “I would prefer that everyone wear their masks at the table.” 

2. “Baby, this is delicious. It reminds me of the stuffing my second wife used to make.” 

1. “What’s the closest Chinese delivery?”

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