Hi friends. Reef the Fox here with your weekly “Reef’s Report.” As you know I am a Pulitzer-worthy columnist. Sanctuary icon. Children’s book star. And apparently, I’m now a brother to a dog I did not approve, authorize or emotionally prepare for.
Yes. You read that right. My mother went to work last week. Her job. You know, the place she allegedly goes to earn money to buy my snacks. She attended some fancy fashion show with models, both human and canine, a real runway and charitable vibes — all to raise money for animals. Very noble. Very respectable.
She came home with a dog. The audacity. The chaos. The absolute betrayal.
Allow me to explain how this unfolded. Mother returns from said fashion show smiling in the way humans do when they’ve made a life-altering decision without consulting the fox who runs the household. Then she introduces us to Sylvie. That’s her name. I know, it’s elegant. Suspiciously elegant. Sylvie was rescued from Miami-Dade Animal Services by JetWag Rescue, which I suppose makes her a survivor, much like myself. Fine. Points for resilience. She is also a senior gal, which I respect. Elders deserve dignity. And snacks.
Now here’s the real twist: Sylvie can’t hear. At first, I was concerned. But then I remembered Isla exists. Frankly, Sylvie is the luckiest creature alive. Isla’s voice could wake the dead, summon storms and possibly crack glass. Sylvie, blissfully unaware, sleeps through it all like a queen. I admire her.
Let me be clear: I am not anti-dog. I am anti-surprise dog adoption without fox consent. This household already has a delicate balance of personalities, trauma responses and snack schedules. Introducing a canine wildcard was bold.
However, and I cannot believe I am saying this, Sylvie is sweet. She is gentle. She has that soft, old-soul energy that says, “I just want a warm bed and someone who loves me.” And as much as it pains me to admit, everyone deserves a loving home.
That said, let’s set boundaries. As long as Ms. Sylvie does not interfere with my attention, my brand, or my potential book tour in the future, she may stay. We will coexist. Cordially. Professionally. With clearly defined roles. I remain the star. She is the surprise supporting cast member.
Anywho, that’s all for this week. Until next time. Reef, over and out!
