Hi friends! Reef the fox here with a very special “Reef’s Report.” I landed the exclusive first interview with one of the newest members of the Key West Police Department, K9 Drax.
As most of you know by now, I don’t travel, so I sent my mom on assignment to KWPD and had her FaceTime me with Drax. I did notice she fan-girled it up and got a photo with Drax. We will let that slide, this time.
Reef: Willkommen to the Florida Keys, Drax. Or as we say here: “Oh nice, another tourist.” You’re from Germany and now you’re working with KWPD. Before you start acting all official with your fancy accent, what exactly is your job here? Security? Influencer? International heartthrob? Because I already fill two of those roles.
Drax: I am a police service dog.
Reef: Wow. Humble. Love that for you. Give the people the résumé, officer.
Drax: In Germany, I competed for over two years and hold top titles in protection, tracking and sport. I am dually trained in narcotics detection and suspect apprehension. I am here to assist my handler and protect the community.
Reef: Translation: you smell crime and bite crime. Iconic.
Drax: My father also took me on a boat when I arrived. It was … fun. But the water moved strangely. I may have had a small nasser Rülpser … a wet burp moment.
Reef: You threw up on a boat your first day? Congratulations, Drax. You’re officially a local.
Drax: Sehr gut! The sun is very strong here.
Reef: Yeah, that’s called “character development.” You haven’t really made it in the Keys until you’ve been sunburned standing in shade. Let’s talk about food. You Germans like sausages. We like fish that used to be alive five minutes ago. Thoughts?
Drax: I like both, and cheese. But why does everything come fried?
Reef: Because this is America and we are not emotionally prepared to eat anything that doesn’t crunch. Important cultural lesson: in the Keys, flip-flops are formalwear, “five minutes” means 30, and no one is actually in a hurry. Except tourists and iguanas falling out of trees when it dips below 65.
Drax: What is it with the chickens everywhere?
Reef: Nobody knows. Nobody is in charge. They live among us. You’ll get used to it. Final advice as your local fox ambassador: Drink more water than coffee. Trust no one driving a golf cart. And if someone says “no-see-ums,” run.
Drax: Danke schön, Reef.
Reef: Bitte. You’re gonna do great, kid. Welcome to the land where the criminals are wild, the weather is dramatic and somewhere a fox is judging everyone.
