For the past six weeks, I’ve been nothing but supportive as my mother (Nicole Navarro) trotted off once a week to attend the Citizen’s Police Academy, a program hosted by the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office that’s designed to educate civilians on what law enforcement officers go through in their day-to-day lives.
I thought, “How noble of her. She’s trying to better understand our friends in uniform. This could lead to deeper empathy, stronger community partnerships, and, if we’re lucky, some kind of snack-based collaboration.” As the ambassador of Pawsitive Beginnings, I understand the importance of bridging gaps and building trust between foxes and humans.
So I played the supportive role. I didn’t question the crime scene investigation lectures. I didn’t bat an eye when she casually mentioned learning to handle mock weapons. I even tolerated the fact that she toured the county jail without me, a natural-born leader who could’ve run that place like a luxury rehab resort. Missed opportunity, but I digress.
But then came the evening of May 3. That’s when things took a sinister turn.
My own mother, the woman who hand-raised me, the one whose scent I can identify from 10 yards away, approached me with a blank expression and an ink pad. Before I could process what was happening, she took my paw prints. Yes. Paw prints.
The reason? She said it was “just to see” if I could be connected to a recent theft involving quail eggs. This is the thanks I get for being a beacon of integrity in this house?
We are no longer talking about community outreach. No. We are talking about a domestic betrayal of the highest order. I have gone from cherished son and sanctuary icon to potential person of interest in a poultry-adjacent crime. I now understand what it feels like to be falsely accused. And let me just say, it doesn’t feel great.
With that being said, I still appreciate the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office and their sincere efforts to engage the public. Education is power, and from what I’ve overheard, they’ve done a fantastic job helping my mother understand the complexities and challenges of policing. It’s a valuable program that I support in theory.
But trying to pin an unsolved yolk-related heist on me, a local celebrity, trauma recovery specialist, and fox of high moral standing? That’s where I draw the line.
Anywho, that’s all for this week. Until next time, Reef, over and out!
