‘Twas the month before Christmas,
as the last full moon rose;
Shining her light
on the ‘bad’ children’s toes.
The kids hid beneath covers,
and shivered with fear;
Knowing old Santa Claus
soon would be near.
They had toy lists so long,
their small hands had grown tired;
But their behavior all year left much
to be desired.
Could 10 months of bad
be repaired in just two?
The kids threw up their hands,
because they knew they were through!
But, as the moon struck Key West,
magic filled the warm breezes;
With the wishes of children
to behave as they please-ed!
As a single full moonbeam
shone on Robert the Doll;
He said, “Don’t worry, children;
I’ll answer your call!”
The doll summoned his minions,
all dressed up in red.
And said, “Run to the children;
Hide under their beds!”
“And when there’s a problem,
and their parents act lame,
have them say, “Robert did it;”
I’ll take the blame!”
So, the minions crept out
of their red and white boxes;
And spread across town just like
sly Christmas foxes.
Past the Southernmost Point,
and then Mallory Square;
And into the kids’ homes,
They snuck with great care.
They hid in their closets,
their backpacks and blouses.
Waiting for chaos,
in the island’s Conch houses.
And with each crash or clatter,
They made double time;
To position themselves
at the scenes of the crimes.
Then the parents rushed in,
and they started to shout;
“Who’s causing trouble?
What’s this clatter about?”
But the children just smiled,
with their tales that were tall;
And said, “I didn’t do it.
It was Robert the Doll.”
And the town’s parents froze,
many trembled with fear;
“We should have known all along …
Robert is here.”
“Our children are angels;
“Never naughty, just nice.
“Yes, of course, it’s the doll,
Who’s been wrecking our lives.”
They picked up their children,
and gave them big hugs;
Then tossed Robert’s minions
aside on their rugs.
But the minions returned,
sometimes there, sometimes here;
All over the island,
spreading dark Christmas cheer.
And in Fort East Martello,
Robert ruled from his case;
As his minions worked magic,
all over the place.
They hopped on iguanas
and rode across the states;
Visiting all the ‘bad’ children,
changing their fates.
They flew south on roosters,
all over the world.
Making rights to the wrongs
Of the ‘bad’ boys and girls.
At the North Pole, Santa
Looked at his list;
And puzzled, “No one’s been naughty?
Is there something I missed?”
Mrs. Claus pointed out,
“One’s still naughty — that’s all.
See, he lives in Key West.
His name’s Robert the Doll.”
Santa clenched up his fists,
and screamed, “Something’s not right.
And I’ll make sure that doll gets
no presents tonight.”
Then he packed up his presents,
and hopped in his sleigh;
Slapped the reins on his reindeer
and started away.
But as hands turned to midnight,
on the clocks and their faces,
Robert’s minions emerged,
from their best hiding places.
Rode their chickens and lizards,
back to Key West;
Taking all the world’s blame
to the place they loved best.
Back in Fort East Martello,
they swarmed Robert the Doll,
As he hugged them, they shared
the adventures they saw.
They brought Robert presents,
from near and from far;
Cupcakes and candies,
and sweet shooting stars.
And then, Christmas morning,
they climbed back in their boxes;
Closed all the doors
and locked all the lockses.
Now, back on their shelves,
they are well-behaved toys;
Until next November,
with the ‘bad’ girls and boys.
Robert let out a wink,
as he wished them goodnight;
“Merry Christmas to all,
and to all a good fright.”
