Has anyone ever asked you a question, and before even thinking, you said, “No.” Take a moment and think about it. It happens more often than we realize.
I recently heard that mindset pattern mentioned in a book I am reading called “Unbound — A Women’s Guide to Power” by Kasia Urbaniak. She mentions that saying “no” on impulse even happens with our biggest dreams and desires. Why is that? Why are we conditioned to say no? Fear? Judgment? Lack of confidence?
The reason could be one of those mindset creepers, a combination, or all of them. When I think back 12 years ago, when my husband, Ryan, and I moved to the Keys from Minneapolis, we dealt with a lot of judgment and opinion. Anything from, “What are you going to do when there’s a hurricane?” — I lost count of the times I lost control of my car in an ice or snowstorm and was grateful to be alive — to, “How is Ryan going to compete as a fishing charter captain? There is so much competition.” Maybe there are a lot of fishing charters because there are a lot of business opportunities?
My favorite question to this day is when people ask, “So … how’s it going?” You know it’s a loaded question, right? “I think we are doing just fine, thanks for asking.”
Unfortunately, in life, you cannot change or control other people. But you can do your best to manage whom you communicate with, either in person or on social media. It’s not always perfect. So, rolling with the energy and not letting it stop you is crucial.
What are some tips to help you keep moving forward and not let any of the mindset creepers stop you?
Become clear on what you desire to achieve in your life.
Yes, this may take time, reflection and even some work, but it is possible. Give yourself grace in the process if you are confused or unhappy with where you are. Spend some time journaling or have conversations with others to spark some ideas. If you can spend some time trying a new idea before leaping, aim to do that.
Be open to ideas and follow the bread crumbs.
Sometimes the ideas or opportunities are right in front of us, but we are so busy we fail to see them. And other times, it’s the small steps or bread crumbs that lead us down a path that ends up working out perfectly. Our small business success didn’t happen overnight. We went down many paths and tried various things along the way. It’s essential to keep the end goal in mind and be open along the journey.
Block out the noise.
Depending on who is in your ear, this may be tough. However, it is OK to love someone from a distance or practice changing the conversation. Not all dreams should be shared right away, so it’s OK to keep something to yourself as you work on the details, let it manifest, and build your confidence.
The biggest thing to keep in mind is why you wish to make the change. When we moved to the Keys, and I desired to be a sales rep versus another corporate job, I knew I would be great at building relationships, and I wanted to be paid per performance. That pay structure based on the value I delivered to the clients helped build my confidence. I was often disappointed in the corporate world with how my results did not reflect in my paycheck. I worked toward that goal step by step and celebrated when it all worked out.
That’s the thing — it will work out.
