There’s a glaring anomaly in the health department’s twice daily case count of COVID-19 in the Keys. There are no cases reported on Big Pine Key, despite the fact that it’s one of the largest population centers in the Florida Keys, like 5,000 people. So … why is that?
“We were just talking about that! I don’t know,” said Sarah Maschal, who is quarantining at home on Big Pine Key and teaching virtual classes for Key West High School. She noted that all Piners shop at the one grocery store, Winn-Dixie. “Maybe we’re all crazy and people don’t want to come near us…?”
Kimberly Matthews and Dave Turner live on Big Pine Key. She says she would like to know more about this “quarantine” she hears so much about.
“I hear that it gets boring after a while, but I haven’t had the opportunity to experience it yet,” said Matthews. “I am the Monroe County’s liaison officer in the Emergency Operations Center so I go to work every day and come home.”
Turner, the executive director of the Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce, is quarantined and working from home.
“People keep to themselves on Big Pine Key. Our postal lady drives up the street every afternoon, drops her stuff off, and waves. We’re not really seeing anybody else,” Turner said. Meanwhile, he reports that his yard is spotless, the boat is waxed, and the cars have been washed at least three times since it all started, despite the fact that the vehicles haven’t gotten much wear and tear.
Chuck Meier, known locally as the Iguana King, is married to a born-and-raised Piner though they currently live on Geiger Key. The Weekly asked him … why no cases on Big Pine Key?
“I’ll tell you why, because Piners don’t go anywhere. They’ve got a grocery store, a post office and Looe Key Reef out front. You can fish, pet a Key deer … hell, life’s good!” (Don’t pet a Key deer, please.)
Maschal agrees. “Yeah, we’re not exactly known as world travelers.”
Travis Livengood lives on Big Pine Key. He’s a man of few words. He chalks up the islander’s health to one simple thing: “We hang out at Coconuts; we’re immune to anything. If you Marathoners hung out more at Brassy Monkey you’d be in better shape yourselves.”
(The Weekly is not disparaging either establishment and have, ahem, frequented both with hearts and livers full of love.)
Every part of the Florida Keys has its own reputation, but Big Pine Key … is special. It’s probably even fair to call them benignly weird isolationists.
“Piners are really self sufficient. When this quarantine became a thing, they all went to the grocery store, got what they needed and went home,” said Matthews. “Anyone who knows me knows that I have a proclivity for zombie apocalypse stuff. And all I can say is that if there were a zombie apocalypse, Big Pine is where I would want to be.”
In COVID-19 times, Big Pine Key residents have nailed it and won first place in the contest of stopping community spread. Congratulations.
