Barstool Astrology: What the stars have in store

Astrology Column

Welcome to the onset of autumn, star children. Next week’s full moon falls close to the equinox, earning it the title of “harvest moon.” In addition to being an absolutely killer Neil Young track, this moon sheds light when humans have historically needed it most, during the collection of crops. Combined with the heavy influence of dark matter planet Pluto, this moon is an omen of regeneration. It asks us to admit and surrender bad habits. Primary among these are self-loathing and unsubstantiated jealousy, but it’s also a good time to give gambling, gossip, nicotine and other vices a rest.

We are still under the influence of the deeply investigative sign of Virgo. In the weeks ahead, this tendency will manifest across the zodiac as a search for meaningful conversation. Past life regression, conspiracy theories, pointed personal questions and sacred geometry take precedence over small talk. Dig deep.

Aries

March 21 – April 19

It is never what you say but how you say it, Aries. Focus on making your point without making fresh enemies.

Notable Aries: Joan Crawford

Taurus

April 20 – May 20

Many of the barriers you face are self-imposed, my bull brethren. These fence posts in your pasture are born of insecurity or fear of failure. The way out is through.

Notable Taurus: Iggy Pop

Gemini

May 21 – June 20

You often have trouble distinguishing between dreams and waking life. Right now that hazy overlap is more prophecy than delusion. You are poised to be and do anything your wildest dreams can conjure.

Notable Gemini: Fetty Wap

Cancer

June 21- July 22

A natural nurturer, you have a lot to give (and say) but feel put out when your well-meaning advice is ignored. Deliver your medicine by request only.

Notable Cancer: Helen Keller

Leo

July 23 to August 22

Your worldview tends to be shaped by outside influence and your need for external validation can leave you striving. You are enough, sometimes too much, but always enough. I promise.

Notable Leo: Ameila Earhart

Virgo

August 23 to September 22

You are a collector of secrets. Here is one for your vault, Virgo: not everyone is as emotionally intuitive as you. Your needs are most likely to be met when they are spoken clearly and out loud.

Notable Virgo: Oliver Stone

Libra

September 23 to October 22

You are prone to prioritize being liked over being an honest version of yourself. If you stay true, the right flock will find you, and you won’t have to shortchange intimacy for company.

Notable Libra: Vladimir Putin

Scorpio

October 23 to November 21

Speaking honestly about your challenges and expanding your social circle to characters with unexpected perspectives will help you on your unpaved path to greatness.

Notable Scorpio: Dylan Thomas

Sagittarius

November 22 to December 21

Your vast array of interests and obligations can leave you feeling energetically scattered. Pace yourself. If you try and do it all, you’re bound to fall.

Notable Sagittarius: Keith Richards

Capricorn

December 22 to January 19

Sea goats are at their best when on a quest. Now is the time to identify your personal grail and set to work swimming toward it.

Notable Capricorn: Basquiat

Aquarius

January 20 to February 18

Purge is the word. The time is high for ridding your life of lost causes and loose ends. The more space you make, the more peace you will find.

Notable Aquarius: Toni Morrison

Pisces

February 19 to March 20

You are acutely aware of the needs and desires of others. Remember my fish friends, this awareness does not contract you personally to fulfill those needs and desires.

Notable Pisces: Anne Bonny

Reda Wigle
REDA WIGLE is a middle child and Taurus Fire Tiger named after a stigmatic saint. She divides her time and affections between New Orleans and Key West.