I dare to say we are all afraid of something at some point or another. The tired saying goes, “Fear keeps us safe.” Yes, I think the expression is tired. Maybe it’s new to you, but I hear that saying a lot, and I find it tiring.
How is fear keeping us safe? Is avoiding something new or uncomfortable safe? I feel not trying something new leaves people stuck. Fear leaves us stuck in the same pattern, routine, relationships, etc. And stuck doesn’t feel good. I don’t know about you, but I like to feel good.
Now, please don’t misunderstand and run out into traffic or swim amidst a school of sharks. So, let’s not go all “Frogger” on me. Remember that video game, Frogger? I was never very good at it.
I was talking to someone, Anne, this past week. Anne admits she is a people pleaser. Anne signed a contract without reviewing it, and now she regrets signing the contract. The contract is with a sales company she represents along with a few other companies. Her fear of losing this particular commission-based sales position led her to hurry up and sign the contract. About the same time, she also took an additional sales position which has more long-term potential. The values of the second company are in line with how she feels and deserves to be treated.
However, she is still afraid. Anne is fearful of embodying this new opportunity and going for it. I understand because I have been there too. The clarity of my experience and how much time I wasted being fearful led me to know how she feels. It’s tough. We get so caught up in lack of thoughts about money that we often end up settling. We play small in something we should be embodying. We forget to realize that it will work out and be OK.
I remembered a story Anne told me about her house. They had overextended a financial commitment, and it was very stressful. But lo and behold, some assistance came through, and it all worked out.
I think she forgot the power of her previous story. If Anne had remembered her experience, it would have given her the faith to move forward and perhaps not have signed the contract out of fear.
We often forget positive things that have happened for us. We get caught up in the here and now, the present moment, and get fearful about the future. Heck, I turned 50 a few weeks ago, and when I get stuck, I still need to remind myself of positive events.
The better road is to take a moment, breathe and remember something that worked out in your favor. Then trust and expect it will also work out this time. This practice will also build your confidence.
My husband, Ryan, asked me something this morning. It’s a business decision he needs to make which has bothered him for quite a while. We have tried to tweak a few things, but still, it hasn’t worked out. He shared his thoughts to get my feedback.
What was my feedback?
- Let that piece of the business go.
- Trust the challenge you are fearful of will open more doors in the right direction.
- Remind yourself of all the times in the past which have worked in your favor.
- Make sure the “What if’s” you are saying (out loud or in your head) are positive, not negative.
He is taking action tomorrow, and it will all work out. I know it.