We’re going to lose weight, quit drinking (at least in the daytime), get back in shape, start a retirement fund, paint the living room, eat less fast food, you know the drill. And it all sounds well and good — for the first week of the year. But that week is now over, and we bring you…

Top 10 New Year resolutions that have already been broken:

10. Sober January.

9. I will refrain from tiptoeing through the Publix express lane with 11 to 15 items.

8. I will not engage in meaningless social media arguments about masks, vaccines or cruise ships.

7. Your 75 HARD Challenge ended before Andy Cohen could get drunk enough to rant about “the crappiest mayor in New York City history.”

6. I will not yell at my kids in 2022.

5. “This is the year I stop streaming and start reading more boo– … Whoa, hello, ‘Yellowstone’ season 4!”

4.  I will not take both claws from a stone crab.

3. I will not light a Christmas tree on fire near a coveted monument.

2.  I will no longer pass on the shoulder or in the turning lanes of the 18-MIle Stretch.

  1. Porn-free January.

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