Voting is undeniably one of the most sacred rights we enjoy as Americans. It’s a right that shapes our country, and most agree should only be taken away in serious circumstances. But in so many ways, the Keys are unlike everywhere else in the U.S. When you choose to live here, you either “get it” or you don’t. And with that said, here are our…
TOP 10 WAYS TO LOSE YOUR RIGHT TO VOTE IN THE KEYS
10) Tell people vacation rentals are “saving the Keys economy.”
9) Ask the state to change hurricane evacuation models from 24 to 96 hours.
8) Campaign for extra days of mini-season.
7) Register under the name “McLovin.”
6) Steal your friend’s GPS numbers.
5) Tell people you believe the movie “Road House” was “the most accurate depiction of the Keys ever portrayed on film.”
4) Shrink the traffic lanes in Islamorada.
3) Actually come up with reasonable, creative solutions to local issues.
2) Ask “How far until I’m in the Keys?” at the drive-through in Tavernier.
1) Remind everyone how you plan to magically change the Keys to be like the place you moved from 6 years ago (and haven’t visited since).
