Being alcohol-free is becoming more and more prevalent, and not only with people who feel they “need” to quit, but with anyone looking to live a healthier lifestyle. Whether you’re aiming for a dry January or want to remove alcohol from your life completely, here are a few take-aways from my sober journey.
You WILL miss it. At first.
You WON’T ever want to go back once the good stuff starts kicking in. Hang tight. Life gets really good.
You WILL “lose” people.
You WON’T miss them in the long run. I have plenty of friends who still drink. Some of my absolute best friends love an occasional cocktail or crisp glass of rosé. But these friends can connect without the crutch of alcohol. Those no longer in my circle were never really in it unless a drink was involved. It was a conditional arrangement. And you’ll be happy to find out which friends stick with you, without the conditions.
You WILL have the best sleep of your adult life.
You WON’T wake up with dread. “Hangxiety,” headaches, pointless arguments, missing personal items and questioning last night’s behavior will be in the rearview mirror. Sound sleep, lucid dreams and waking up with a yearning to be a better version of yourself every day will become your new normal. And you’ll love it.
You WILL question everything you were ever trained to think about what it means to have fun.
You WON’T believe how much money you will save. Seriously, no more $20 cocktails on the dinner bill will blow your damn mind.
And as for fun, I certainly wasn’t throwing ’em back in my grade and middle school years when I had the most endless, innocent and magical time with friends. Somewhere along the way, with the help of marketing and the glorification of alcohol (notice how your favorite TV character is always fabulous and bright-eyed while drinking, somehow never remotely sloppy or drunk), we started relying on an overpriced toxin to enjoy ourselves.
You WILL need to find a hobby.
You WON’T know what to do with yourself at first.
I bought roller skates. And a pack of string to make friendship bracelets. And eventually paddleboards that I’ve yet to unbox. You’ll have to figure it out again — the kinds of things you enjoy when you’re simply in it for the enjoyment, with no lubricant to fool you into the joy itself.
You WILL get the most out of removing alcohol if you simultaneously eat well and move your body.
You WON’T believe how much crap you crave in the beginning. I binged on chocolate and candy for the first six months until deciding I didn’t put the drink down in order to still treat my body like a dumpsite. I leveled up my sobriety the minute I started working out.
Being offered drinks repeatedly after saying no will get annoying.
My advice? Be up front about your decision if you are comfortable doing so – “No thanks, I’m not drinking” – and change the subject. You don’t need to give a reason if you don’t want to offer one. If someone can’t accept that, refer to the beginning — remember when I said you would lose people, but not the people who matter anyway?
And if you’re not comfortable, get yourself a drink before anyone else can. When they ask, lift your cup and say, “I’m all set.” You’ll be shocked how no one actually cares what’s in your cup as long as you have one. Mocktails can be a great option, but you don’t have to spend the money on a sugary substitute when a big balloon wine glass filled with ice, fruit and sparkling water can hit the spot, instantly making you feel better, and fancy!
Also, come prepared. Don’t show up at someone’s house expecting your favorite N/A option to be provided. Bring your drink of choice with you and avoid the discomfort.
Setting boundaries will take an insane amount of personal strength and will need to become a daily practice. Take five minutes every day to write down how you’re feeling, listening to your mind and body and allowing yourself to really notice the positive changes.
Your life will become less complicated and much clearer. You’ll have the kinds of relationships you can count on, the most important one being the one you have with yourself.
Cheers to a new year without blinders.
