Are you a Keys bum? Growing up down here, that term could swing from a slight jab to a badge of honor, depending on the context.
Now, thanks to the opening of Keys Bums Bakery, it’s definitely something to celebrate. A couple of months ago both my personal and professional social media feeds were flooded with rave reviews about these absolutely massive cookies. Unbeknownst to me, Keys Bums Bakery had officially launched and made their first delivery. I reached out to learn more and secure a box for myself.
Here’s how it works: Step one, check their latest cookie flavors (they change frequently). Step two, visit Keysbums.com to place your order. Step three, receive notification of the pickup location and date. If the timing doesn’t suit you, they’ll arrange an alternative pickup. Step four, as their Instagram puts it, “Share your cookies with friends and family. Or keep them all to yourself.”
Keys Bums was dreamed up by Bryan Peixoto and his fiancée, Andreina Yoria. When Peixoto’s mom, Bianca Peixoto, joined the team with her extensive baking history, they knew they were ready to rock ’n’ roll.
If these names ring a bell, you might be familiar with Cupacabana, the charming pink coffee truck in Key Largo owned by Luana Peixoto — a talented family to say the least. Having enjoyed Bianca’s baking at numerous gatherings, I can vouch that she knows what she is doing. It’s no surprise this gift has been inherited by her children and soon-to-be daughter-in-law.
The popularity of oversized cookies has been growing, with Night Owl cookies and Crumbl cookies recently making waves on the mainland. So, you can imagine my delight in seeing the Keys join the trend. What makes it even sweeter is that Keys Bums Bakery is locally owned and operated and not part of a corporate chain.
When asked about the inspiration behind the name Keys Bums, Bryan and Andreina explained, “The name was just something we’ve all heard growing up down here. Keys Bum, which I think was always meant to be a derogatory thing, to me felt more like a lot of us take pride in being from down here and wanting to stay here.”
Upon opening the box of cookies, two things struck me; they’re gorgeous and I need a knife. They’re so large that in our household we slice the cookies so we can sample each flavor. The array of options is wild, featuring choices like tiramisu, white chocolate raspberry, Andes mint chocolate chip, lucky charms, glazed lemon, red velvet and s’mores, just to name a few. The texture of these cookies is completely up to you. At room temperature out of the box they are pleasantly soft yet hold together well. Pop them in the oven to warm them up slightly — you’re going to get a gooey melt-in-your-mouth experience. Put them in the fridge to get a firm, almost crunchy cookie, which is my preference and also ideal for milk dipping.
I think Keys Bum Bakery is such a fun addition to the Upper Keys and is capable of bringing friends and families together to gather around and try something new. The fact that the flavors rotate often gives the perfect excuse to order time and time again. Remember to indulge responsibly; after all, a balanced diet means a cookie in each hand.
