HUMOR: TOP 10 THINGS OVERHEARD AT THE POLLS

More than 18,000 registered voters – about one in every three – cast ballots in the Aug. 23 primary election in Monroe County. For those who were busy paying attention to their ballots, and for the two-thirds of you who didn’t make it, we offer…

Top 10 Things Overheard at the Polls this Past Tuesday 

10. “Is my medical marijuana card an acceptable form of ID?”  

9. “So remind me again about your policy on felonies and voting.” 

8. “I don’t need instructions. I just watched ‘2,000 Mules’ for the ninth time.” 

7. “What’s the legal alcohol limit for voting? Asking for a friend.”

6. “Excuse me, I switched parties to vote in this primary. Can you guys just switch me back when I’m done here?”

5. “Do I have to fill out every one of my ballots the same way?” 

4. “Any chance you have a ballot with pictures? I like to vote for the hot ones.” 

3. “Do you smell that?” 

2. “Can I skip the actual voting part? I’m just here for the ‘I Voted’ sticker and my Insta-selfie.” 

1. “Wait, we’re using the same machines as in the last election? I thought all these things were rigged.”

Britt Myers traded in a life of monetary success, a chiseled body and intellectual enlightenment for a piece of the pie of the Keys Weekly newspapers. He is also the proud parent of an incredible six-year-old and a sucker for Michael Mann movies and convenience store hot dogs.