I have a song on my “After The Storm” CD titled “Happy Holidays (My Own Damn Christmas Song).” It was inspired by an actual event where I made the horrendous mistake of wishing a visiting family Happy Holidays.
By the looks on their faces, one might have thought that I just shot Santa Claus. The patriarch of the clan spoke up in a loud and angry voice that proclaimed, “Where we come from, we say ‘Merry Christmas!’” They made it clear to me that I had offended Our Lord and Savior as well as their refined sensibilities as they walked away disgusted and left to head back to from whence they came.
In these days of mendacious media manipulators who manufacture bogus crises like “The War on Christmas” to peddle to ignorant viewers, I suppose that the heretofore benign and formerly pleasant act of wishing someone Happy Holidays has become subversive. I was just wishing the family Happy Holidays. I would have probably gotten a similar reaction had I said, “Y’all go to Hell!” And that’s significantly different than saying Happy Holidays.
This time of year, we can celebrate a lot of good holidays. There’s Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and even Festivus for the “Seinfeld” fans. Why not celebrate them all? It’s a lousy enough world as it is – why not take every chance to spread a little happiness and good cheer? In the spirit of the holiday season, I’ll spend the rest of this column sharing words from those far wiser than me about what the holidays are really all about. Happy Holidays!
“Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.” – Dave Barry
“Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.” – Laura Ingalls Wilder
“May the lights of Hanukkah usher in a better world for all humankind.” – Author Unknown
“The seven principles of Kwanzaa — unity, self-determination, collective work and responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity, and faith — teach us that when we come together to strengthen our families and communities and honor the lesson of the past, we can face the future with joy and optimism.” – Bill Clinton
“The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you’re gonna hear about it!” – Frank Costanza
“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.” – Andy Rooney
“I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.” – Steven Wright
“Look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness.” – Anne Frank
“Kwanzaa is a holiday that should be celebrated by everyone, not just the Black community.” – Jacqui Lewis
“I like to compare the holiday season with the way a child listens to a favorite story. The pleasure is in the familiar way the story begins, the anticipation of familiar turns it takes, the familiar moments of suspense, and the familiar climax and ending.” – Fred Rogers
“I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” – Charles Dickens
If you’re curious about my “Happy Holidays” song, you can find it anywhere you download or stream your music, and there’s a music video for the song on my YouTube channel.
– Catch John live Thursdays at Sparky’s Landing, and Sunday afternoons at Skipjack Tiki. Find his music anywhere you download or stream your music. www.johnbartus.com • johnbartus.hearnow.com
