MARRY YOUR EX? MARATHON COMMUNITY THEATRE’S ‘THE SIEGEL’ OPENS THIS WEEKEND

May 8, 2025

Folks, we’ve got a problem.

There’s a show opening this weekend at Marathon Community Theatre. Normally, the Weekly editor Alex would write all about the show, how fun it is, tease the plot a little … you all know, you’ve read plenty of them.

The issue here is: he’s in the show. And the other lady he usually asks to write stories like these (Abby, I think her name is)? Yeah, she’s in it too. So, he asked me to take a stab at this.

Who am I? My name’s Ethan Siegel, and not to brag or anything, but the show is basically about how romantic I am. You see, I’m about to propose to my girlfriend, Alice, who I dated for four years. Her parents, Ron and Deborah, might be a little surprised to see me show up at their house to ask their permission, but I think I can pull it off anyway.

Now, Ron and Deborah have a tendency to be party poopers when I get excited about things. They might say irrelevant stuff like “Ethan, you’re not dating Alice anymore,” “you guys broke up two years ago,” or “you realize she’s dating another dude, right? Are you on drugs?”

Our “tri-directors” Dale Coburn, Linda Diaz and Brian Witte might describe me with words like “mental patient,” “seriously off the rails” – you know, all the best compliments.

I want you to ignore all that. Like I said before: I’m pretty sure my plan will work anyway. After all, what else am I supposed to do when I think Alice might be the one person out there who I’m supposed to be with? You still following me? Good.

Because here’s the thing: That new guy she’s dating, Nelson? They met hooking up behind my back anyway, so blurred lines are nothing new here. And the guy might be a buttoned-up investment banker by day, but watch how he turns into a basket case when he comes home to find Mr.-Steal-Your-Girl-(back) standing in his living room.

And Ron and Deborah can argue all they want about whether what I’m doing is romantic or creepy, but they’ve got their own issues to work out, like why their daughter texts dad more than mom, and some other stuff that’s not my place to say. Plus, I’m pretty sure Ron likes me more than Nelson anyway.

“The Siegel” runs at 8 p.m. on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays from May 8 to May 24 with a 3 p.m. matinee on Sunday, May 18. Tickets are $33 including fees and are available at marathontheater.org or by calling 305-743-0994. Fair warning: The show is rated 18+ because we “let it rip” with the language – but honestly, that just makes it funnier.