10. Footage of co-host Patrick Stevens goes viral and he quits his job as a lawyer to focus on “his art.”
9. The award for best band will be decided by an impromptu competition among Fiddle Rock, Stone Crabs and Pine Billies, performing “A Whole New World” from Disney’s “Aladdin.”
8. We misspell “Maraton” again.
7. Marathon Detention Center wins “Best Late Night Spot.”
6. Andy and Cheddar’s cross-promotion confuses the public so badly that Rev. Deborah McConaughey is named Best Bartender.
5. There will be leftover booze.
4. Despite 11 years of warning our publisher about his insensitive jokes, he finally gets a positive response to jab about Marathon’s homeless population.
3. Political differences are settled once and for all.
2. Island Harmony twerks to 50 Cents’ “In da Club.”
1. The Marathon Rotary Club announces that instead of scholarships or hurricane relief efforts, all proceeds will be used “to spark civil unrest.”
