Florida Keys officials, business leaders and administrators will head to Tallahassee next week to lobby state officials on critical issues affecting Monroe County. Since its inception 11 years ago, the event has served as a catalyst to reform windstorm insurance premiums, rehabilitate the old 7 Mile Bridge and solidify the Florida Keys Environmental Stewardship Act. This year, the list of objectives include introducing the new governor and his cabinet to critical issues such as affordable housing and nearshore water quality. In advance of the event, the Weekly has polled some of the attendees to reveal … 

The Top Ten Priorities for Florida Keys Day

10) Construct a new basketball arena/sports complex on Boot Key for the team formerly known as the Miami Heat.

9) Rename the Florida Keys Community College “Stock Island University.” 

8) Abolish ROGO.

7) Establish dynamite as an acceptable method of harvesting iguana. 

6) Convince Florida’s Insurance Commissioner David Altmaier to abandon his “pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey” methodology for setting windstorm rates in favor of science, historical data and economics. 

5) Unseat Roman Gastesi as the current record holder for most scotches consumed at the Governors Club. 

4) Deliver a wet willy to Gov. Ron DeSantis from former Key West Mayor Craig Cates. 

3) Present State Rep. Holly Raschein with a Casio sports watch and a piece of Key Lime Pie on a stick for her 16+ years of public service.   

2) Let the Department of Economic Opportunity know we have solved the affordable housing crisis.   

1) Find out where all that lottery money is going.

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