Top ways to sniff out a dissenter in your office


The anonymous New York Times op-ed that revealed dissention at the top level of the White House administration inspired the following:

  1. Your team-building exercises include a car battery and waterboarding kit.
  2. Install a polygraph machine next to the copier.
  3. The company’s uniform policy includes a GPS-tracking ankle bracelet.
  4. You do a survey and single out the ones who didn’t think Super Troopers 1 was funny.
  5. Identify the employees who use the word “boss” with little air quotes.
  6. You threaten to swallow the company goldfish if no one comes forward.
  7. A company bulletin that reads: “The refrigerator, all toilet paper and internet access have been restricted until further notice.”
  8. IT installs a routine pop-up meme with a pic from the movie “Poltergeist” that reads “We Are Watching You.”
  9. Publish an anonymous Op-Ed piece saying you know who the anonymous Op-Ed source is.
  10. Casually announce that Robert Mueller has been hired to take over “Human Resources.”
  11. An exercise where employees are judged on how much their hands shake when handed a full “World’s Greatest Boss” coffee mug.

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