One of my favorite quotes, often attributed to Albert Einstein, goes like this: “The only infinite things are the universe and human stupidity. And I’m not sure about the universe.” Once again, in these allegedly tech-savvy times of 2024, comes a conspiracy theory that explodes the brains of actual thinking people. Even better, this story has a link to the Keys!
In the aftermath of back-to-back hurricanes Helene and Milton, social media was abuzz with people suggesting that the government controlled the path of hurricanes and steered them toward populations predominantly from one political party. An actual member of the House of Representatives of these United States (see if you can guess which one) posted these statements: “Yes they can control the weather. It’s ridiculous for anyone to lie and say it can’t be done.” This same member of Congress doubled down with a follow-up tweet: “Ask your government if the weather is manipulated or controlled.”
Multiple-mega-lawsuit-losing InfoWars conspiracy theorist Alex Jones alleged that the government directed Helene to North Carolina to drive people away and claim the huge lithium reserves in the mountains. These are people who probably don’t believe that we really went to the moon (and likely failed every science and math class they ever took — miserably). But now, we somehow developed the technology to create and direct hurricanes?
Perhaps the best one was posted to X (formerly Twitter) by some brainiac who calls himself Jack Straw. Straw alleges that PVC pipe coral farm structures in Keys waters — with actual little corals growing on them — are really antennae that are controlled by some lab at the University of Alaska. And somehow, these antennae are used to control the direction of hurricanes. Hell, if arrays of PVC pipe are all you need, let’s all build some hurricane antennae and keep those suckers away for good!
This is where the local connection comes into play. Marathon’s own coral conservationist, Kevin Macaulay, was quoted by NPR’s affiliate WLRN, saying, “This certainly falls into the ever-growing category of things I never thought I’d have to talk about as a marine biologist.”
Macaulay goes on, “In particular, there were some empty structures in the photo that they seemed to really have focused in on being antennas. So those are just empty pieces of PVC is all it is.” Just to clarify this for those who need a clarification, Macaulay assures everyone that there is no connection between PVC coral farm pipes and Alaskan laboratories.
The really sad parts of all this are the consequences that come about because of the misinformation. A FEMA remote office in North Carolina was shut down because an armed idiot believed these conspiracy theories and was threatening violence against the government officials. Kristen Corbosiero, a meteorologist and professor at University at Albany, said, “There is a lot of misinformation out there coming from all kinds of directions about hurricanes. And I think really what really should be the focus is protecting life and property. There are people who have suffered from Helene and are going to really suffer from Milton. And so, I really wish as a meteorologist, that would be the focus.”
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Speaking of Macaulay, he is also the president of Presents in Paradise, a local nonprofit that helps make Christmas possible for Keys working families. I’m sure he’d want you to come to the Middle Keys’ best costume contest: the Boo Bash at Havana Jack’s this Friday. There will be great prizes, live music with the Lady A Band, food and drink specials and celebrity judges including Sheriff Rick Ramsay, Marathon Mayor Robyn Still and KCB Vice Mayor Freddie Foster. It’s a great time for a wonderful cause, so come out in your Halloween best.
– Catch John live Thursdays at Sparky’s Landing, Fridays at Isla Bella, and Sunday afternoons at Skipjack Tiki. Find his music anywhere you download
