That magical time is upon us – the Holiday Season, or as it is otherwise known, the Consumer Capitalism Season. I trust that we will all be stuffed on turkey and all the trimmings, and are ready to go out and contribute to our nation’s gross domestic product.
In days of old, a shopper would usually have to wait until the Friday after Thanksgiving for the stores to open. That phenomenon, now known as Black Friday (named thus because it puts a lot of big box stores in the black), wasn’t early enough for some “value-conscious” consumers. No! They demanded better sales, bigger bargains and earlier openings. Some retailers decided to wait until midnight after Thanksgiving, but a few years back, moved it up to Thanksgiving Day. No holiday for you, poor retail worker!
I’m still not sure of the impeccably flawed logic behind this corporate strategy. The last thing that many stuffed Turkey Day diners want to do is to struggle to get up off the recliner and head to the mall. Still, retailers persisted, serotonin-induced lethargy be damned. It has surprised me that the NFL hasn’t filed an injunction forcing stores to stay closed so that football viewers would remain relaxed on their respective sofas and watch all the commercials featuring cars with red bows in people’s driveways on Christmas morning.
Speaking of which, do you know anyone who has received a legitimate functioning late-model automobile with a big red bow in their driveway for Christmas? If you do, I need to start hanging out in your social circle. (If you are one of those people who actually got a new car on Christmas morning, please forward a bottle of Macallan 18 to me, care of this newspaper. I’d love to help you celebrate.)
I just have this nagging suspicion that way more people get red-bow-tied cars for Christmas in TV commercials than in actual real life. My favorite new version of this perpetuated falsehood is the one where this guy helps a bell-ringing Santa on the street, hauls his stuff up flight after flight of stairs, and mends a hole in Santa’s suit – and then wakes up Christmas morning to find a new Lexus in his driveway (with a big red bow). Seriously, there’s a better chance that Giancarlo Stanton will realize his mistake and come back to the Miami Marlins.
Back to Black Friday (and Brown Thursday?) – the online retailers came up with their own special day, Cyber Monday. This virtual retail event had the unfortunate unforeseen consequence of affecting the productivity of every office worker who is trying to shop online. In other words, don’t expect blazing fast server speeds on Monday.
So let’s recap: The big box and mega-mall stores have Black Friday. The online retailers have Cyber Monday. American Express, in a magnanimous gesture to their lesser customers, started the one of these shopping days I like the most: Small Business Saturday. Anyone can go pick out a gift at a mall or big box or (gasp!) Amazon. But small businesses offer great benefits to not just the shopper, but the entire community. The logic goes like this: A local opens a small business, turning his or her dream into reality. The small business hires locals, and with help, is able to grow. More sales means more local taxes generated, which could bring things like better roads and parks. That in turn creates more jobs, improves the community and makes all the local businesses more money.
Virtually all of the advertisers in this paper are small businesses right here in our islands. They hire locals and contribute to the local economy. If I could have one wish this holiday season, it would be that we locals support our local businesses exclusively this (and every) year – unless you want to buy me a new car with a red ribbon on Christmas Day.
– Catch John live Thursdays at Sparky’s Landing, Fridays at Isla Bella, and Sunday afternoons at Skipjack Tiki. Find his music anywhere you download or stream your music. www.johnbartus.com • johnbartus.hearnow.com
