The hat trick in life is to die without regret or remorse. It has a lot to do with what my wife calls the “Shoulda, woulda, coulda club.”
You may find out very shortly that graduation is less the blissful milestone you currently think. It might be one of those moments in life that will pass you by (as it did me once) and not be recognized for the glorious moment it was. Up until now, you have had no mortgage, no wife or husband, no job you need to put bread on the table or a roof over your family and you probably have had more free time than you will ever have for the rest of your life. But it is over and done and you are out. Now what?
Looking back on your time in school, perhaps the greatest lesson is the realization of things you missed out on. Perhaps you already have joined the shoulda, woulda, coulda club.
Was there something you didn’t do, but now think you should have because you regret missing the opportunity? “I should have worked harder,” or “I should have asked so-and-so to the prom.” “I would have done that except I was doing this.” Admission, my friends, to the not-so-exclusive shoulda, woulda, coulda club is fear, procrastination and, ultimately, the failure to recognize how wonderful and unique each of you is.
In the movie “Dead Poets Society,” the main character, Mr. Keating, brings his class into the school lobby to look at old photographs of former students from many years before. He gathers them close and whispers eerily, “Get closer. Listen. Can you hear them?”
Then, to the puzzled students he hisses, “Carpe Diem! Seize the day. Make your lives extraordinary.” Finally, he reveals, much to the boys’ astonishment, that all the boys in the pictures are dead and “food for worms.”
It may be too late for some … but not you.
Some of you will go forth from where you are today, do what is expected of you, essentially living your lives the way someone else expects. Others, the ones who get it, will go forth and truly make their lives extraordinary. They will follow their bliss and accomplish great things, bring joy to themselves and others and then pass on from this life with a happy and full heart free from regret and remorse. That is living. That is success.
Are you wondering about the future? Don’t. The future will come fast enough. This day was once the future and it will come and go. Will it turn out as you thought? Will you have achieved all you hoped? Are you prepared for the next step in your life in a career, a relationship or further education? Luckily for us all, it is never too late and especially so in your case.
Advice is a strange part of the relationships among humans. Sometimes advice is given to make the giver feel important. Sometimes it is ill-advised. Sometimes it is given from hard-won experience and with sincerity. In this vein, I share the advice I gave to my own son: If you wish to succeed in life, always do more than is asked of you. Remember, the more you help other people get what they want, the more they will help you get what you want.
In the extraordinarily simple words of Hillel who lived 2,000 years ago, “If I am not for myself, who will be? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when?” It is not wrong to be selfish about what you want out of life; just remember to do it for the right reasons. If your only pursuit is wealth, then what you get will be as empty as the touch of King Midas. If you pursue that about which you are passionate, everything else will come with success. Make no mistake, everything you do will involve and require assistance from other people.
And, finally, every day is a new opportunity to remember that today is not a rehearsal for tomorrow. Yesterday is now a dream and tomorrow is an unfulfilled promise.
What now? Carpe diem! Make your lives extraordinary! Don’t wait for luck, make your
own.
With great hopes for all of you,
Chris Belland
Key West
