According to the national media, Brett Kavanaugh’s supreme court nomination is in “Big Trouble” — capital B, capital T. Allegations surfaced recently that he sexually assaulted a classmate back in prep school, more than 35 years ago. The accusations kick the stuffing out of the idea that “What happens in the Keys, stays in the Keys.” Yikes.
- Facial Tattoos only work for retired boxing champs and serial killers. There is no place in the future where they work for you.
- Your podcast from college titled: “Maybe Women Have Come Too Far, Too Fast.”
- That one year you spent on the “organic farm” (a.k.a. nudist colony).
- If all those jokes about having kids you don’t know about — are true.
- If you ever referred to a random female as “toots,” “sugar cakes,” or “hot mamma.” Trust us. Don’t bother running for office (except for president).
- You’ve been known to play devil’s advocate when talking about white supremacist groups.
- Your tax return has a permanent line item for “hush money.”
- Your online avatar is a talking eggplant.
- In every picture of you from age 12 to 40, you are wearing a “Legalize Marijuana” T-shirt.
- You wrote your graduate thesis on how Martin Luther King was the best boxing promoter of all time.
