Top 10 things from your past that could be used against you

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According to the national media, Brett Kavanaugh’s supreme court nomination is in “Big Trouble” — capital B, capital T. Allegations surfaced recently that he sexually assaulted a classmate back in prep school, more than 35 years ago. The accusations kick the stuffing out of the idea that “What happens in the Keys, stays in the Keys.” Yikes.

  1.  Facial Tattoos only work for retired boxing champs and serial killers. There is no place in the future where they work for you.
  2. Your podcast from college titled: “Maybe Women Have Come Too Far, Too Fast.”
  3. That one year you spent on the “organic farm” (a.k.a. nudist colony).
  4.  If all those jokes about having kids you don’t know about — are true.
  5. If you ever referred to a random female as “toots,” “sugar cakes,” or “hot mamma.”  Trust us. Don’t bother running for office (except for president).
  6. You’ve been known to play devil’s advocate when talking about white supremacist groups.
  7.  Your tax return has a permanent line item for “hush money.”
  8. Your online avatar is a talking eggplant.
  9. In every picture of you from age 12 to 40,  you are wearing a “Legalize Marijuana” T-shirt.
  10. You wrote your graduate thesis on how Martin Luther King was the best boxing promoter of all time.

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