10. It could be seen as an attempt to suppress the Irish-American vote.

9. Friends don’t let friends vote drunk.

8. There are no cup holders in a voting booth.

7. There is much less tolerance for people pinching one another these days — even if they aren’t wearing green. 

6. Nothing screws up a ballot-counting machine worse than spilling your Guinness in the paper feeder.

5. It gives an unfair advantage to any candidate with the last names Murphy, Kelly, O’Brien, O’Sullivan, O’Conner, McCarthy, Connolly and Lucky Charms.

4. The number of times a poll worker has to say, “Sir, please pull your kilt back down and keep your eyes on your own ballot.” 

3. The number of times someone yells out, “By order of the Peaky Blinders!” as they slam down their completed ballot. 

2. The number of times the terrorist threat is raised due to someone asking if they can bring their “car bomb” into the polling station.

1. The imminent threat that Bono, Liam Neeson or Conor McGregor wins the write-in vote for your local school board.

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