Haters, beware. We took a lot of heat (and a few threats of violence) after a Top 10 that listed the items found when the FBI retrieved more than 350 classified and top secret documents from the Mar-a-Lago home of former President Donald Trump. And while the revelations surrounding classified documents found at a private office of President Joe Biden seem less nefarious at the moment, we at the Keys Weekly understand that turnabout is fair play. Always here to help, we bring you the…
Top 10 items recovered from President Biden’s private office.
10. The original Ten Commandments. Authenticated with inscription — “To Joe. Love, Moses.”
9. An unused inauguration speech — written by Neil Kinnock.
8. Hunter’s other laptop.
7. Metamucil.
6. Marsellus Wallace’s briefcase.
5. A stolen draft of Kevin McCarthy’s autobiography titled: “If at first you don’t succeed, try try again. And again. And again. Until you sell your soul.”
4. Handmade trophy that reads: “1st Place. 1965 International Moot-Court Competition. University of Delaware.”
3. Tons of movie keepsakes, tax forms and personal effects belonging to Jim Carrey. (You might have to Google this one).
2. 1985 mint condition “Nasty Nick” Garbage Pail Kid card.
1. A few unopened ballots from Georgia — just a few.
