10. Share that joint you found at the Original Marathon Seafood Festival.
9. Try to cough your way out of a speeding ticket.
8. Rely on official statements from “you know who.”
7. Eat those seafood buffet leftovers you found at the bottom of the fridge..
6. Let your aunt from Manhattan with the dry cough sleep on your couch.
5. Smuggle illegals (new definition: anyone not from Monroe County) into the Keys.
4. Make out with residents at the senior center.
3. Buy all the toilet paper.
2. Start the rumor that modified mosquitos now spread the coronavirus.
1. Use the water fountain at KOTS.