10. You immediately started reading this Top 10 to see if something offends you.
9. You were caught trying to forcibly remove a First State Bank Moolah the Manatee statue (because you feel “manatees are violent by nature and represent the contemptible struggles of British imperialism”).
8. You called code on your husband for not wearing a mask in the kitchen.
7. You’ve been in a fist fight in the past week over politicians who literally could not give two shits about you.
6. Your idea of compromise is talking louder and more often than anyone who sees the world differently than you.
5. You believe all news is fake news. Except for the news you watch.
4. You’ve started a campaign to cancel all cancel culture.
3. You refuse to watch any movie with subtitles claiming “they should learn to speak American.”
2. You use Facebook and Twitter to advocate boycotting Facebook and Twitter.
1. Someone at a neighboring table in the restaurant referred to you as “Karen” and you immediately asked to see the manager.