Top Ten Ways to Get Banned from a Local-Friendly Pool

Top Ten Ways to Get Banned from a Local-Friendly Pool - A pool next to a body of water surrounded by palm trees - Havana Cabana At Key West
We’ve used pool skimmers to remove the children for the purposes of this photo. CONTRIBUTED

After winning the “Best Local-Friendly Pool” Bubba, Havana Cabana resort caught some heat on social media for changing its policies. The rumor is that the hotel will no longer be open to non-resort guests. We all love a good local-friendly business (especially a pool and bar), but it begs the question: What did locals do to wear out their welcome at the friendliest pool on the island? After checking in with some sources who have borne witness to the scene, we present: 

Top Ten Ways to Get Banned from a Local-Friendly Pool

10. Refer to the bartender as the “sitter.”

9. Wear your favorite T-shirt that says “Balls Deep.”

8. Insist on bringing “Inga,” your inflatable friend, to the pool.

7. Open a pop-up bar for all your friends underneath your lounge chair. Hey, tequila always tastes better when it’s free. 

6. Drop off your three kids at 9 a.m. and kiss them goodbye like they are at Camp Winatonga.

5. Simply put: Domino’s Pizza Party. The whole neighborhood is invited — BYO Ranch! 

4. Have a $120 bar tab and haven’t stepped out of the pool in 5 hours.

3. Drag in enough gear to feed, house and cloth the 3rd Infantry.

2. Band-Aids and sharting diaperless babies.

1. Deeply feel like the local hotel pool is a direct extension of your living room.